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Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Why doesn't he want to be with me

Simon is over the road for 7 days, then home for 3-4. During that time we used to get a date, at least every other time. That quickly ended. But we did try to do something special as a family with Ellie. All was well, but now that is coming to an end. He does stuff with her, but not if I'm going to. He'll take her to the mall, or to his dad's or his friends. But, like I said, not if I'm around. Everytime WE try to go somewhere together, regardless of where or what he gets a headache, he feels sick, he gets tired, he gets depressed. Today we didn't even make it 1/4ml down the road before he turned around and went back home. Ellie and I went out to spend family time together, with Simon. I've told him repeatedly that if he's not going to spend time with us, then I'm not going to adjust my life. We will continue with life as we usually do, if he wants to participate, then he can, if not that way we aren't making special arrangements for ultimately nothing. For example, I blew off a playgroup today because he was home and we had "plans." Turned out we didn't follow through with those plans, but it was too late for the playgroup because I didn't know the directions to the woman's house. Those kind of things happen all the time now. It's like he has no use for me anymore.
When he comes home he says hi to me, kiss me, then goes to Ellie...no harm there. But then when I try to talk to him, ask him questions or anything he doesn't answer, he doesn't listen, he doesn't acknowledge me.

I wish I knew what his problem is. I wish he wanted to be around me, but he doesn't. I guess I can't blame him...I mean it's me we're talking about. Oh well, I'm trying to get to the point of being ok about his decisions to not be with me.

4 comments:

Morgan Owens said...

Sherry, I really think you need to talk to him. You need to tell him how you feel. If he doesn't listen..MAKE HIM! Sorry you are going through this, always here for you and thinking about ya!

Christina said...

Oh Sherry, I'm so sorry. I agree with Morgan, you need to talk to him and ask him what is going on. Don't let him get away with acting like that towards you because it's not okay!

Elana said...

I am so sorry that Simon is pulling away from you. Is this something that's been going on since before the m/c? If it started recently, he may still be hurting (as I'm sure you are) from what happened and he may need some time to process it. But you really do need to talk to him, as Morgan said. He needs to know how you feel and that it's not ok to treat you this way.

Elizabeth said...

Ditto to what everyone said- you need to talk to him and find out what the heck is going on. It's not fair for you to be dealing with him- especially after your m/c. I'm sorry you two are having such hardships ((HUGS))