Saturday, December 27, 2008


I am finally going to upload some pictures. No ultra sound yet, but soon. We got an awesome printer/scanner last year for Christmas. I had the box in MY closet (we have separate closets). One of Simon's cleaning/throwing away fits, he threw the box away. So I have this brand new never been used printer, but can't even plug it in, much less hook it up to the computer. For this next week, I am planning on going to Walmart and putting the pictures on CD, then I should be able to have a post with the ultra sound pictures.

The first one is me at 6 1/2wks. The second one is me at 22 1/2wks. I wanted to see the difference between the 2, hence why I put them both on, skipping any other pics I have. I can still very much wear the dress in the first picture. Maybe soon, I'll get a picture of me in that dress and compare the 2. The shirt in the second picture is my favorite shirt. Most of my shirts are just a plus size up from what I usually wear. This is actually a maternity shirt, and out of my maternity shirts, this one shows my belly the best.

Friday, December 26, 2008

Sorry it's been a while

I've been reading other blogs, not commenting as much, but commenting some. I guess I just haven't been in much mood to post. Sorry for that. I just wanted to let all who read my blog to know that I'm alive, I'm well, and Ellie is doing well. I had another ultra sound last week. They tried to get a front view of her face, but everytime they almost had it she moved, the little stinker. She's only interested in showing her profile view and between her legs. She's not very modest. I am 24wks now, I'm so excited to be getting closer to 3rd and final trimester. I'm excited almost to tears. 110 days till the edd, and if we have to induce at 39wks then it's even less. I'm so excited to be so close to holding my little precious baby in my arms. But, we have lots to get done before that big day. Nursery, lots of stuff still to be purchased, showers, and still, I haven't given up on the wish to move, even if it's to the better apartment below us. That's all I have for now...more later.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Dr.'s appointment

I had a doctor's appointment today. Nothing too interesting, well, ok, maybe a little. I am still on moderate bed rest until my blood pressure decides to cooperate with me 24/7. He said I'll most likely be on some form of bed rest until we see a baby. Awe, a baby.

I discussed a little problem I'm having, be proud of me. I wasn't sure if it was hemorrhoids or not, so I wanted to make sure before I used medication for it. He said it sounds like hemorrhoids and made his recommendation. We didn't get the medicine yet, but we will tomorrow or the next day. I mean I'm on bed rest, it's no huge deal, really. For the most part, I can handle pain, not happily, but it's not an emergency.

I didn't say a word about the back pain I'm having off and on. It's mostly when I sit up for a while. I really think it's from weak muscles in my back being used now. Not to mention, I can't complain about these common aches and pains. I signed up for this, so I was prepared for most of what I've had to endure thus far.

Something I was not prepared for that has been a bother for 7wks is the constant gushing of heartbeat sound in my left ear. Oh boy, and when I try to go to sleep, it's very loud and very aggravating. I mentioned it to him before, but he brushed it off. This time, I didn't really brush it off myself. He listened to that artery and said that he will contact a cardiologist that he likes. He was concerned, but wasn't sure if it was something we needed to address during pregnancy or if it could wait till after pregnancy. He said that often times older people will get their artery stripped of the plaque. If they don't plaque will build up and cause narrowing of the artery which is apparently his guess for this. He said that during pregnancy since there is a high blood volume, it will probably seem worse, but get somewhat better after the pregnancy. However, he did say that it's definitely a warning sign that needs to be addressed at some point. He said it's a risk factor for a stroke. Apparently he quickly talked to the cardiologist and I have an ultra sound on me neck in the morning. Hubby says that's where the twin is hiding.

I told my mom about the above, and she commented that I tend to age faster than normal. Now, for some family history, my mom is in her mid 40's and is like a 60-70yr with health and stuff. She can't relate to anybody in their 40's but rather the older ones. Her health started deteriorating fast in her late 20's. Her mom had very poor health in her 40's, died when she was 61 of medical problems. Her mom died in her late 50's and again, was older than she really was. So the women in our family have poor health, and we are learning, we age quicker apparently. I guess I'm no exception.

I was happy though when they asked if I have been having any contractions or cramping. NOPE! That felt real good, LO is snuggled in there for now. While I'm looking forward to April and I'm getting increasingly excited, I don't want March to be the month.

Oh, we got a Precious Moments quilt in the mail today. I won it on eBay, my first bidding and my first win. Thursday we plan on picking up the crib and changing table. I'm thinking before we put it together we should probably do any painting first. Simon is very excited to get rid of his den area and start getting the nursery set up.

There's my update. I'll post a memory story next.

Saturday, December 6, 2008

I look pregnant now!!

If you are TTC, and you are having a bad day, you may not want to continue reading. It's just a little pregnancy post. Trust me, it'll be short.

I was concerned, being overweight and all, that I wouldn't look pregnant. It scared me. I mean, I'm not 300+lbs, but I'm also not 180. I would be happy at 180 with my build. If I were to say how much I weigh, you would probably envision a very large nasty fat person, which in my opinion isn't the case. I am very large boned, and the weight is pretty much distributed equally. I don't have a large mid section and skinny's all on the large side. I was also worried, well, still am about if DH will be able to feel Ellie through the fat. We'll have to wait on that part.

So, I've been concerned that I just look fat and not pregnant. Guess what though. Just in the last couple days, I SUDDENLY look pregnant. Yeah, I am so excited. Friends and family are starting to comment on how I look pregnant. I have my favorite maternity shirt, and it really make my belly look cute. But I went to target and tried on a few different plus size shirts, and let me tell you, there's no doubt I'm pregnant. I LOVE LOOKING PREGNANT!! Okay I just had to get that out. I want to go to the top of the mountain and shout it, so all can hear. Can you tell I'm happy? I wore my favorite top last night to a Christmas program, and as I walked to the bathroom, I could see my reflection in the's such a gorgeous profile look. I think it's time I can take another pregnancy photo. Maybe I'll figure out how to post it on here. I'm finally feeling beautifully pregnant.

With looking pregnant does come aches and pains that can't be ignored and brushed under the rug. So far I'm good though, I only get down when I'm having the back pain, generally in the evening. But, I've had worse in my life and this too shall pass. The day will come in 4 months, that this will be over and I will hold Ellie in my arms...okay, I think I'm hormonal today, I'm about to start crying. I love my baby girl so much. I love looking pregnant.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Disturbing post

I read a post on a message board that was a little concerning for me. It was somebody who is pregnant with #2 or more, and they said they asked their doctor why they are so much more concerned now than with #1. The doctor said that with #2 you know what your missing if something does go wrong. So, then of course, others put in their 2 cents worth and agreed they worried a lot less with #1.

I'm not sure if I have the ability to worry any more than I already am and have been. Whether I am considered an infertility grad or not, that's beside the point, it took me over a year to get pregnant. I was diagnosed with a couple different conditions that make it difficult to conceive, in fact some with my diagnosis have to do a lot more than I did. I feel very blessed and don't take any of this for granted. If something happens to this baby, I know that it may very well take me a lot longer and a lot more medical intervention to get pregnant again. With PCOS and endometriosis, it's not a guarantee that I'll easily get pregnant again.

Also, with the 25% risk this baby will have cystic fibrosis, and a 25% chance #2 will have cystic fibrosis, and so on and so on, I'm sorry but I worry. I was about to reply that one can be worried with their 1st, but I didn't want to get something going. I hate confrontation so I figured I would come to my blog since I can say whatever I want to say.

I don't know if I'm so worried because I did try longer than the "oops I'm pregnant" girls. Or even longer than the 2 BFN months and then finally after what seemed like forever, they get their BFP's. (3 months, yeah, that was forever, that was torture). I have realized that I didn't even try for a real long time. I did put money, and with our finances, I put in a nice amount towards getting pregnant. So, if something happens to this baby, then I'm at square 1, well okay, maybe square 2, since I at least know what the problems are now. Maybe for most, a pregnancy with #2 is more worriesome. I have to disagree though. Many of you spent time or are spending time in the TTC. Many or all who read my post spent or are spending big bucks on trying to get your baby #1. I think it's ok to worry during the first pregnancy in these cases, when you have some sort infertility battle.

Are we, as women who fought or are fighting for even just 1 baby, are we allowed to worry during the pregnancy? The first baby isn't always a surprise for couples. Some really want and try hard for that 1st one. Am I overreacting to this??? If I am just tell me, and I'll delete this post. I don't want to make anybody feel uncomfortable and cause confirtation on my blog. But when you invest, time, money, tears, and avoid social functions to avoid babies, pregnant women, and pregnancy announcements; I think you have the right to worry.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Christmas wish list

Believe it or not past Christmas' has been hard for me to shop for hubby. He's a man with few need and few wants. This is our 2nd Christmas married, and the list for him is endless. I want to get him everything on his list and the list that I've created for him. Now, I am totally clueless on what to get others, such as my mom, his mom, his dad, and do we really need to worry about aunts and uncles and cousins? I mean seriously, my mom's sister and brother, and 22yr old nephew expect things from us. I just don't understand buying for such extended family. I'm actually giving my uncle my used digital camera, as my aunt and cousin are giving us their used digital camera. So, since this is how it is, then I shouldn't feel bad for giving them a really small something, right? Then there's my mom, who really doesn't expect much, and his mom who I am completely clueless as what we should get her. Here's the list I have for Simon

  • MP3 player (already purchased) He'll love me for it.
  • MP3 holder (already purchased)
  • Pajamas
  • A specific kind of socks, kind of a joke.
  • A sweater (he's finally starting to like the style of clothing I like for him)
  • Undies (my choice of course)
  • Cologne (again my choice, but his favorite)
  • Plus a stocking, which I've decided this year we will have 1 stocking for stuff for both of us, unless he decides to do me a stocking.
My wish list
  • Perfume (our favorite for me)
  • I want him to wash my feet with a special scrub, sand the dry skin off the heels, lotion the feet, and paint the toenails a new color.
  • One of those long things that help you reach your back to wash it better
  • Pajamas to match/compliment his
  • A new tube of my Mary Kay foundation