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Monday, December 20, 2010

Who likes to be sick?

Not I!!! Ellie got sick with a runny nose and cough. Poor baby didn't eat much at all for a week. We started getting worried and took her to the doctor, plus her cough had gotten pretty yucky. Found out she had an ear infection. Who would have thunk it?? She's so tough when it comes to pain and being sick that she had no signs of an ear infection. This was her very first ear infection too. There was one time last year they said her ears were dull (almost infected) and they gave her antibiotic. She still had a runny nose and coughing, but she's eating and keeping it down. Oh yeah when she would eat she would throw it up because it would get stuck on the plegm. Nice.

For a while I thought that I wouldn't get sick, I don't know I guess I was stupid or something. Of course I did get sick. It started last Monday with a sore throat. The wierdest thing is the sore throat kept coming back for 5 or so days. I can get pass the runny nose and sick feeling and nasty taste in my mouth, that's just all part of being sick. What has hit me hard is I woke up Thursday morning feeling like maybe I slept on my neck wrong, nothing too bad. I had Simon massage my neck some but boy was that the wrong thing. After that it got WAY worse. It was so bad I had him track down his nana who used to be a physical therapist assistant, we went to her house. I had no range of motion in my neck. Every bump, curve, turn, stop, and acceleration on the way there caused me to scream. I generally have a high pain tolerance. I seldom rank things as a 10 because of all the problems my mom has had with pain. I didn't hesitate to say this was a 10. The only help his nana was just the tlc help me calm down, but as far as helping the pain, it didn't happen. Next stop was going to be the emergency room, though I hated that. I called my oncall OB and she told me not to go because they couldn't do anything and no meds would help unless I'm put unconcious. She said go home and call a chiropractor the next morning. That night was horrible. I couldn't lay down in the bed unless Simon was supporting my neck, couldn't sit up without help either. It was a long night. But I laid on a heating pad which seemed to help tons listened to relaxing music, and took half a unisom. Simon didn't understand the concept of relaxing, but it was a lifesaver. Morning finally came and I went to visit the chiropractor who agreed my neck was very messed up. Not much improvement after one visit but later that day I went back and slowly things have gotten better. It's easy to say that during the day, but at night it's bad again (not a 10). My neck feels too weak and achey to hold my head up. Talked to my mom and learned that she's dealing with the same kind of thing, on top of her having the same cold virus. We are assuming the neck pain has something to do with the virus we have. Ugh, I can't wait till it's over.

Pregnancy is going well. We are nowhere near ready for little guy to come though. I'll be 34wks on Thursday. I can't believe how fast this pregnancy is going. I'm really going to miss being pregnant as Simon is firm that this is our last one. I want one more, but if that doesn't happen I know I'll still be happy. Last week he was breech, but went to my regular OB today and she's pretty sure he flipped head down again. We hope so anyway. I'm going in every other week for ultra sound because of the high blood pressure, though it's not getting to me like it did with Ellie. I wish I wasn't considered high risk. Oh well, more opps to see the baby.

Christmas is almost here and we aren't ready. I'll tell you the one thing I hate about Christmas is the fact you have to buy for your immediately family (Simon and Ellie in my case), plus I have mother in law, nana, grandmother, father in law, 11 kids, aunts and uncles, sister and brother in laws, my mom, grandma, granddad, aunt, uncle, and cousin. I think it's just craziness!!! I feel awful if we don't buy for everybody because it seems like everybody generally buys for each other and gives at the little extended family gatherings. But goodness we have an endless list or so it seems. So I have a solution that I hope will be the cheap way out. I'm getting a case of mason jars $10 I think for all I need, a pack of sugar, flour, baking soda, M&M's and I don't remember what else. I'm going to do the cookie mix in a jar thing and for probably about $20 EVERYBODY on the list will be covered. The problem is my father in law, cousin, or granddad will not benefit from that. So a dollar tree visit is in my near future.

Considering I don't blog much I'll tell you what we have Ellie. By no means are we going overboard. I got her leapfrog junior tag reading system, which I'm guessing she wont really benefit for a few months the age is 2-4 so we'll see. We got her a little leapfrog computer. She has a toy dog that barks because she LOVES doggies. We have her a toy cleaning kit because she loves to help clean and our broom is way too big for such a little girl. She's getting a v-tech jumping turtle, she'll sit on it and jump, my aunt has one for her grandson and Ellie and all other little ones love it. I have to get a couple books to go with the reading system. She has 3 pair of pj's. It's really not a ton. Simon got me a kodak camera it has 26x optical zoom and is 14megapixels. I have had the joys of using it already and I LOVE it. For Simon, I'm pretty clueless on what to get. I know it's going to be from best buy because I have a $50 gift card, just what I'm not sure of. There's really several things he could use from there. I'll figure it out. I need to make a list of what I need and figure out my game plan in getting everything.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Time is flying

In a couple days I'll be 30wks pregnant. Where in the world has this pregnancy gone? Ellie will be 20months on the 4th, so close to turning 2yrs old. I feel like I should be pregnant with her, not her turning 2 soon. She's growing up too. She has so many words and is clearly learning a lot. She was sitting on my bed watching Max and Ruby this morning when I took my shower. I could hear her talking to the TV and saying football which sounds like botball. I didn't think much of it until I got out of the shower and noticed that Max and Ruby were throwing a football around. When she hears a dog bark she knows it's a "dogga." She has many other words that honestly I have lost count and track of. Oh, maybe the hardest word of all she is saying is Christmas. When she sees Christmas lights she'll say Cicmas. We got her a big girl bed. It's actually just a longer twin mattress and box spring. It works for now, but soon I want her to have an actual bed. She sleeps well in it when I let her. She has fallen out a couple times, I really need to dig the railing out of storage, but I'm hoping I can get Simon to do that. But it seems it's a lot easier for me to just put her in bed with me. I kinda like the company in the bed, even if it means a foot in my side or I get way less than half the bed. She insist on sleeping sideways in the bed or she'll turn upside down. The pregnancy is going GREAT. Exact opposite of what was going on when I was pregnant with Ellie. I'm still able to wear my rings with very minimum swelling. I do have heartburn, but who cares about a little heartburn. All in all I'm doing great and cherishing every little movement. I'm not too thrilled with the constant peeing with a toddler in tote. Oh and the worse of it all is my underwear are falling to my knees, don't ask me how the croch stays up but the rest fall down. Time for new undies. But it's all good though. Oh something else about Ellie, she pees and poops in the toilet. SCORE!!! She still wont tell me so I have to put her on quite often, which I'm not consistent with. But when I do, she generally goes. My mom told me to put her on after meals and before and after nap, and when she wakes up and before going to bed. That seems reasonable, hopefully soon she'll start communicating her need. Some days she will hold her poop in until I sit her on the toilet then immediately she goes. I am so blessed to have such an awesome daughter. I hope this boy is just as great as his sister.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

We sure have changed

As I was thinking about our parenting style and beliefs EVERYTHING has changed. Well nearly everything has changed. Ellie and Elijah will not even be 2yrs apart, yet things will be different between them. First of all if Ellie was a boy she would have likely been circumsized. Now, Elijah will likely NOT be circumsized. There's no reason to do it. Simon shared with me his disapproval of vaccines. I have been pro vaccines, but not against delayed vaccines. The only thing is I'm not sure if Tennessee even allows that, so we'll see. We disposable diapered Ellie, up until now, but he will be cloth diapered from the beginning. I do less and less canned and jarred and frozen foods and more fresh foods. I don't buy things for convience anymore. I don't mind taking a little longer to prepare food so I don't have to get stuff with additives and preservatives in it. I am learning more vegitarian dishes, as I'm really not much of a carnivore and Ellie more often than not doesn't like meat. It amazes me just how much changes once you become a parent. Oh and yes Ellie has slept in my bed with me when she needs it. We were very against co sleeping, but honestly I'm more for doing what the child NEEDS. Ellie needed to sleep in her own room rather early on, but she's had her nights, which I have no problem with.

I'm not sure if I have revealed the name to you all. Maybe I have. Anyway in case I haven't, it's Elijah Scott. Scott is Simon's middle middle name. I want to have one back up name, a totally different style of name just in case. Right now he's Elijah, but he'll probably end up being Eli. So we will have Eli and Ellie.

I have something else to say but it's pretty much a post of it's own. Soon, very soon, promise.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Hi all

Nothing much is going around here. I'm growing bigger and BIGGER. Simon questioned if I'm having twins, but I'm not. I've always thought I would have twin boys, but I guess that will never happen. We are 95% sure this baby is our last. Ellie is doing great and having so much fun in life. I took her to the zoo a couple weekends ago, then last weekend to a pumpkin patch. This weekend we went on 2hr trip to see some of my family. Next weekend we're going to the Apple Orchard. Then after that I'm kinda out of ideas, but I'm sure I'll fnd more things. Pregnancy is going GREAT. It's unbelievable how "easy" a pregnancy can be, knock on wood. I mean with Ellie I was way beyond the normal sickness with morning sickness all day and night for months. Then my stinkin blood pressure and HORRIBLE swelling. So far so good, now that I am on medicine for the thyroid I have energy to do some things which feels amazing. I guess this was a little bit of nothingness, as there isn't anything to really blog about.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

A bunch of randomness

This is a post about a little of everything. Nothing specific just where life is now. I apologize if I repeat something I said in my previous post.

My thyroid blood test led my OBGYN to do nothing. However the high risk doctor found it importnant to put me on a low dose of synthoid. I've been taking it since Friday. I also had an ultra sound of my thyroid, but haven't received the results yet. I'm not too concerned about the results.

I LOVED the high risk dr. I saw, and hope I see more of her. With Ellie I mainly saw this guy that was very shy and soft spoken. They were always wierd appointments. But with this lady who has only been with the company for a year, I felt like it was a real informative appointment. I will be seen in a few weeks and then we will schedule the amnio, unless I decide against it. I'm leaning towards finding out as the results will help me prepare mentally, but then again it's not like Ellie has a real bad case of CF, so we aren't 100% sure we'll follow through with the amnio. I loved seeing baby boy on the ultrasound again. We got a profile pic and face pic, which the face pic is kinda scary looking, but the profile is cute. He was still measuring ahead with his legs and arms, and right on for his abdomen and head. He is measuring a little ahead with his weight, but nothing concerning.

Ellie is starting to have her runny nose, much as she did last fall. I noticed a week or so ago she had a gland behind her ear that felt swollen to me, so I thought this may be coming. I hate her being one of those snot nosed kids with dry snot all over her face. It's clear so I'm not runny to the pedi, if she has a runny nose for a week they give her antibiotics, which unless the snot turns green, or she starts running a fever, I am against. I am going to be taking her to a chiropracter and they will do something to her sinus' and adjust as needed. That may and may not help, but it's a less invasive procedure and way safer than medicating her or removing adnoids. Plus it's way cheaper so it's great. Hopefully it works.

Speaking of chiropractor I will be seeing the chiropractor as well. The one I found will do adjustments on my back. I'm thrilled as maybe this will help as I get further in the pregnancy with back and hip pains and maybe it will some with my desired VBAC. I mean I don't know for sure, haven't read anything about it, but my logic would say that it may help.

Ellie is doing fantastic, other than the runny nose which doesn't slow her down. It seems like she shows me something new nearly everyday. Her vocabulary is what I would consider average for her age. She has about 12 words she will say and use correctly. Her first 2 words were "thank you" which sounds more like tonka, and "doggy" which sounds more like "doga." She says thank you when somebody gives her something or when she gives you something. It's so cute.

She knows no stranger. Seriously I had her in Kmart with my mom and her friend last week. Ellie ran to another mom holding a little boy around her age. The mom put the boy down just to be attacked by Ellie. LOL. It was amusing, as she wanted to play, and tried to hug and kiss the boy as he tried to step back with a dumpfounded look on his face. That family went on their way, and a couple minutes later another young boy came with his mom and Ellie repeated, and of course scared the 2nd boy. Poor kids, having to endure the wrath of Ellie's friendliness. She is seriously such a loving and gentle kid who loves to play with her peers. No shy bone in her body, that's for sure.

Since Ellie is NOT shy at all, and clearly 2-3 times a week being in nursery with 6-12 others her age isn't enough, I have officially joined a mom's group. I was kinda in one before at the church, but due to inactivity it went on. They are hoping to get it going again. I decided to join our local MOM'S club. I was invited to a meeting by a friend, and had already made the decision to join. I paid a $20 dues so yeah, we'll be doing stuff. I already have several things circled on the calender that I want to do with Ellie in the month of October. They have over 40 moms in the group and from what I saw there are tons of kids in all age groups. I'm just hoping that I get more and more energy as between doctor's appointments and MOM's Club activities, and church, I will be very busy.

Speaking of doctor's appointments I will officially be changing OB's this week. I discussed a VBAC with the high risk doctor and though respectful of my wishes, she was a bit apprhensive. However she was very supportive of me switching doctor's, she said if for any reason I can deliver where I had Ellie and they will do the c-section, since I will be going to a doctor in a different county. She's just thinking I wont be able to have a VBAC. My first OB appointment with the new doctor is this Wednesday however I will be seeing the physician's assistant rather than the actual doctor. That's cool with me, I'll have to see her at some point anyway.

There's other stuff, but I've written enough for now. All in all, everything is great!! Life isn't always easy but thankfully there's no drama going on right now.

Monday, September 13, 2010

Gender Announcement

It's a BOY!! I was shocked and scared when she said boy. I know nothing about boys. Oh well, I was still excited and got teary eyed. It'll be a fun experience.

I was 18w5d when we had the u/s and the boy measured 19w5d in his legs, arms, and head, but his stomach measured 16wks. I will talk to the doctor on Wed. at my 20wk appointment.

Ellie is doing great, turning into a little toddler. She's having temper tantrums, LOVES her grandma's, and has words now. She understands so much more than she can say though. She is such an amazing little girl, most of the time, just those tantrums can be so embarrassing.

I'm doing great, a bit hormonal/emotional though. I am senstive and cry easier now. Oh well, must be the pregnancy. LOL, it's kinda funny though since I'm anti showing emotion. It's almost a fun way of being, to actually cry. But then I turn around and laugh at myself because there really is no need for the crying.

I'm going to call an endocrinologist. My mom has hypothyroid hoshimotos disease or maybe it's disorder. Anyway, I've been tested for hypothyroid before but never hoshimotos. I was going to wait till after the pregnancy, BUT I have read 2 totally different things today w/out even looking for it. I wasn't fishing for thyroid problems during pregnancy, but accidently fell across it. One was in relation to labor and delivery that the baby will often times not be in position for delivery thus resulting in c-sections. I think it's important I explore this if I'm going in for a VBAC. Also apparently it also affects milk supply. YIKES!!! More so than wanting a VBAC I want to be able to breastfeed successfully meaning only breastmilk for 4-6months. So if I find out I too have thyroid problems then it may give me a better chance at a VBAC and allow me to be more successful at breastfeeding. Fingers crossed.

So, I think that's all the important stuff for now.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

The news

It has been one interesting week, to say the least. Ellie, my mom, and I went to NC then GA, then back home to TN in 3 days. We drove nearly 1000miles. While we were gone, Simon was stuck at home because his truck was in the shop. Now if we knew that he wasn't going to be going out, either he would have went with us or kept Ellie, but there is simply no way we can know things like with this tucking career.
While I was gone, Simon did all the final things to make that 2006 Kia Sedona ours. So now sitting in our driver we have 4 cars, one being my nice minivan. Now we need to fill it up with kiddos. Ok, not really, just this 2nd baby. We are now faced with what 2 cars to sell. We can agree on my 2000 Saturn SL1, for whatever little bit it will sell for. However Simon is kind of sentimental about it and hesitates to get rid of it. It's easier for him to sell that one though. It was my first car I went out and bought on my own. The other 2 cars, is a 1997 Buick, it's big, leather interior 60,000miles on it, drives great, air condition needs to be checked out, but it may just need refridgerant, it needs new tires, the cruise doesn't work. It could probably sell for $3000 or a little more if we got the air working. My grandfather gave us the car. The other car is a 2003 Dodge Stratus, it's Simon's first car that he went out on his own to get. It has 170,000miles, the trunk will not stay open unless you hold it open with one hand, which you try to put a stroller or double stroller in the car w/ one hand. Little bits and pieces of the car are messed up, like the bumper is held together w/ duct tape, thanks to my MIL. The passanger's door automatic lock doesn't work, the door behind the passanger's door is messed up. When we lived in our apartment, somebody hit the car at that door, we had to get it fixed but it was no time before it was messed up and at times the door wont even open. As far as the way it runs, it runs ok however for a long time when you are stopped at a light or stop sign or in traffic it will accelerate just a tad while you are breaking so I have learned to keep a distance between my car and the car in front of me. Simon wants to keep the dodge and get rid of the buick. I think personally the buick will make a better 2nd car. I think we are going to get Simon's brother to look at both cars and advise us as far as the condition. The dodge had a rebuilt transmission put in at 100,000miles too. So which do you think we should keep and which she we get rid of?

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Breast pumps

I know I'm early, but not really. I'm in the 2nd trimester now which IMO, it's a time to start thinking about things like this.

With Ellie I rented a hospital grade pump, but had very little luck. It was medela. I just got maybe 4oz total from both breast, and that was after nearly an hour of pumping. My SIL said she never got an electric pump that from her experience manual was just as good, I heard the same from somebody else. So I eventually bought a cheap manual with even less luck. I seemed to consistently have low supply despite blessed thissle and fenugreek and some kind of compound med. the dr. gave me. Who knows if my PCOS affected my milk supply. Or maybe the stress of Simon having broke his leg days after Ellie was born. I don't know which it was. Maybe even a combination. Or maybe I just didn't have what it took to breastfeed.

Now I am faced with the desire to make breastfeeding work way better than it did with DD. In fact, if ok with a lactation consultant I plan on taking fenugreek and blessed thissle to the hospital when I deliver. I would like a good breast pump, but I really hesitate to invest much over $100 since I am afraid it will be a waste of money. I mean seriously, why buy a $300+ pump when you have a history of pumps not working and supply problems? I'm really hoping things will be way different this time around, but seriously what makes me so sure it will be to go out and make that kind of major purchase.

I think maybe I can wait and see if I will be able to breastfeed successfully this time, and if so I'll buy a good pump. That would be an option, especially since I do still have the manual one I can use for the time being. I will hopefully be starting school Mon-Fri 8am-3pm when the little one is 6 months. So I will be needing a pump that will work good for me at that time.

I would love opinions and input. Hold off and don't buy anything until I know I'm going to be able to do it, then invest in a good one. Or buy a half decent one to have from the start, but may not be best.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Update to van shopping

I took the buick in for trade in but they couldn't give me near what we needed nor what we could sell it for. We decided w/out hesitation it would be best to get as much out of the buick as we can. We'll be putting it out for sale and when we sell it we will check back with the same dealer and others and even private sellers until we find a van of similar mileage and condition. This kia sedona has really raised the bar as to what I will find acceptable. At least it means we wont be jumping into anything since it does require quite a bit of looking around to find the RIGHT thing.

Van shopping

After years of no car payment it looks like we will be sucked into one. :-( But we need a van for obvious reasons. While we haven't had a car payment, we sure have been driving around a couple old beat up cars. It's time for change and a better vehicles. I've done so much looking for the right vehicle. I found the one I REALLY want. Simon isn't quite as fond of it, as he would rather buy it out right, and with the trade. I want it, even if we have to get into a small monthly payment. It's way more reliable, nice, and just perfect for my needs and wants even. He got preapproved for the loan yesterday so now it's a matter of seeing if the buick my grandfather gave us will trade for what we know it's supposed to, give them a check, and get the loan completely taken care of. Not much left, HOPEFULLY it'll happen today. Fingers are crossed. Ellie loved the rear air condition when we test drove it. She was happy as could be, pointing to the air and laughing and clapping. I've gone for the extended rear facing for saftey, but poor kid doesn't get air blowing right on her being rear facing, plus our air only works most of the time. When it doesn't we don't drive at all and cancel anything we have because lately the heat index is over 100. As you can see a new vehicle would be a very positive purchase. I think Simon's hesitation is because like I said pay it off, but I don't want to drive around in another 130,000+ mile vehicle, that's the same thing we have now. What I have found for a killer price is a 65,000 mile Kia Sedona and it nice!! I love how the back seats go down into floor, as we don't have room for storing them. It will help make transferring the huge double stroller mega easy. I also didn't know that vans these days have a special mirror that you use just to see the kiddos. Pretty nice, if I should say so myself. All in all the van is nice. If we get it I'll post pics. Oh and the reason I really want this one, is because in our price range I'm not finding multiple deals like this one. If it looked like we could find similar deals in a few months, then we would wait, but it's just not very promising. We're in TN and I found a similar deal in Florida and another in New York so what I found isn't common at all. Like I said what I'm find is 100,000miles. A lot of people get rid of their vehicle around 100,000miles because they know that the transmission is unreliable, the timing belt is iffy, and other things are likely to go out. Then you have the 130,000mile cars that the transmission will go out if it hasn't already, then you have the 190,000mile ones that the transmission has been replaced, the only concern now is the engine and the fact the car is considerably old. In "my" van it's on the newer end of what I've been looking at, with way less miles and we have a 1yr warranty. This would be the best birthday present EVERY...just a week early, lol.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

FIL's joke

My FIL has this joke that he dreamt he was awake then woke up and found out he was asleep. I had a dream exactly like that recently. I could have swore I was awake, until I woke up and realized I was actually asleep. Talk about weird.

Friday, July 9, 2010

VBAC vs. repeat c-section

I see a new dr. on August 3, for a consultation to get their opinion.

My dr's reccommendation is to get a repeat c-section. His reasons are, 1. They don't do them because there are several hospitals women deliver at in the county. By law the dr. must remain on the L&D floor at all time while a woman is laboring during a VBAC. He can't promise the on call dr. can do that because somebody else may go into labor somewhere else, and it's just an inconvenience for them to have to be glued to the hospital. 2. He can send me to the university doctor's, they have residents and doctor's overseeing them at all times. I could switch and see them, however that would mean my dr. would lose a patient and money so he's not advocating that. 3. The reason he's giving for not being a fan of that option is because at 38w3d when I was induced for several days I hadn't made much progress. I wasn't even quite to 3cm yet, even after they broke my water that morning. He says my pelvic opening must be too small causing me not to progress.

My opinion, is 1. Rememeber the amniotic fluid was dwindling for about a month and it got too low, so they had to induce. I was 38w3d when we had the c-section. I was still somewhat early, especially considering a pregnancy can be up to around 42wks. I was also tracking my ovulation via fertility friend and I know based on ovulation signs CM and temps that I ovulated a week late. I just so happened to always measure right based on my LMP. I don't know, but I think my EDD was really a week later so it made me more like 37w3d and I just don't think my body and the baby was ready to come out. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe regardless of how far along you are your body should respond to the oxytocin...

That's why I'm getting a 2nd opinion. I'm living in the county beside the county we used to live in the one that has 3 different hospitals. So where we are now we have 1 hospital and I found a doctor (a female dr. yay) that takes my insurance and does VBACs and has been recommended. I will just have a consultation with her and I have tons of questions to ask her, both specific to my situation and also questions I've found online. I was going to go with a midwife but they said that a doctor has to be there at all times anyway so I might as well just go straight to the dr and especially since it hasn't been a real long time since I had my c-section. I think it's probably best anyway. I'm thinking about looking for a doula, especially if Simon is still over the road trucking because there is a chance he misses the birth if we let the baby come on his/her time schedule.

Before the appointment I need to tour the hospital I will be delivering at and make sure I like it. I also want to tour the hospital I will have a repeat c-section if I stay w/ my current doctor. It's closer to where we live and a lot nicer and newer than where we delivered Ellie at. I know I'm still in my 1st tri and its a little early to be touring hospitals. But I currently have a wonderful dr. and the office is super nice as are the staff. This new doctor's office and doctor has a lot of impressing to do. Plus the place I deliver at is really important to me. When I had Ellie since she was ok, they didn't wheel her away from me. She stayed in the operating room while they sewed me up then in the recovery room I was able to hold her and nursed her. I've heard from a lot of people that they generally take the baby to the nursery to do all the testing and bath. People complain because other family and friends get to see the baby better first before the mom sees and bonds. It's really important that whichever hospital I deliver at can grant me the same experience as long as there are no complications. So you see there is a lot for me to think about right now.

Slight change of subject...I have a friend selling their van, about the year we are probably looking for and it's a Honda so we like that. I asked how much so we'll see if we're going to follow through. I will feel so much better if we had a van or suv w/ 2 rows of back seats. Right now we have an older car that isn't perfectly reliable anymore. We'll see if this will be our van or if we will have to begin a search.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

New computer

Finally we got a new computer!! Our desktop went out on us quite some time ago. My MIL got a netbook so she let us use her crappy laptop. That one went out. So we were using her netbook because her son in law always has her internet stick so she had little problem loaning out the computer. But at times she would comment and we knew we needed to get her computer back to her, I means it's the right thing. But the thought of living without my computer was just unbearable. Ok so maybe I would have survived. But we are also trying to get Simon a job working in the offices and to do that we need internet access. So we finally made the purchase. We got a Toshiba. It's pretty nice, but we didn't get a high priced one. We really don't need a high price one. I like to put pics on the computer, go to a few sites, and apply for jobs. Since my birthday is in a month, it's pretty much my Birthday present. I'm satisfied, but I know when my birthday rolls around I'll want something even if it's small. I'll probably buy a couple maternity shirts or something for myself.

Friday, June 25, 2010

Thank you

Thanks for all the congrats!!!

Ellie and me are worn out this week. We have had camp meeting at our church all week. All week we have, well I have but Ellie is my little shadow, working in the nursery. We have to be there at 6pm and work until 9:30pm. On adverage we have about 11 1yr old and 3-4 workers. It takes a toll on you physically and emotionally, especially when you have 3 hysterically crying for their mom's, 1 doing something dangerous, and 1 taking a toy or something from another kid. Last night was our last night working. Tonight I'm thinking of going to the service and taking Ellie to be in the nursery. She'll probably cry for her 2nd time ever going to nursery because I wont be w/ her. It's a really big named preacher that will be there tonight so I really want to be there. But I'm not sure if Ellie can "handle" it. She was getting sleepy, cranky, and clingy last night at 7ish.

I am trying to get a part time job. We don't need a lot of extra money. But if Simon has 2 lower weeks we really feel it. My MIL helps out, but she can't continue. She's trying to set herself up to retired next summer so she's having to put herself on a strict budget. I haven't thought much about Ellie while I'm at work. I guess I need to look into daycares. I hate putting her in daycare, but I really feel she's ready for it. After seeing her in nursery all week I think she'll be fine. Who knows it may even help her talk. She only has a few words she says, doggie, mama, dada, and thank you (kinda). Anytime she needs or wants something I just know what she's trying to get across. She has little need for talking with me around. Simon isn't thrilled with my decision, but I told him I would just see what is available, apply, and see what happens. It's possible I don't get anything if I don't I'll continue what I'm doing with staying home. We'll see where it leads.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

*Surprise, Surprise*

Monday, May 24th something told me to take a HPT. I wasn't yet late, but I didn't feel AF was coming. We were also about to go to Mrytle Beach and knowing if I was pregnant or if AF was going to be ruinning parts of my vacation seemed to be vital info. Much to my surprise I got a faint BFP. We weren't even trying. Since the miscarriage we were actually preventing, by using condoms anytime I was close to ovulation or had ovulation signs such as my faithful EWCM. The only time we didn't use condoms was after I clearly ovulated and before I was due to ovulated. This time it was CD11, on mother's day. I have never o'd before CD18 so I knew sperm couldn't live for 7 days. I also didn't have any EWCM so it was an hostile environment for sperm, or so I thought. This was actually the first time not using condoms. I guess my body decided to ovulate on CD14, the first time ever in the last 10yrs I have done that. I will be 8wks on Thursday. I have seen the baby 2 times, once at 5w5d we saw the heartbeat. The 2nd time was after a spotting scare and we saw and heard the precious heartbeat at 135bpm. We haven't told many people and we are holding out as long as possible. My mom doesn't know how she will love another child as much as she loves Ellie, as Ellie really is so perfect. But my mom doesn't know yet either. I don't want to hear her negative comments. So please don't say anything on facebook.
The pregnancy is going pretty good. I have moments of nausea, but nothing a preggie pop can't help. It's a lot different than the pregnancy with Ellie. With her I was so sick I could hardly function. I think part of the ease is coming from staying at home. I have very few commitments were I have to be somewhere at a certian time. My EDD is 2/3/2011. Though this is a complete surprise, we are very happy and looking forward to Ellie being a big sister.

Saturday, May 15, 2010

You know I have no idea what I wrote on the last blog entry. Sorry if I repeat.

We had a death in the family a couple weeks ago. It was my uncle, well actually my great uncle. But because of the family dinamics he was more like a regular unlce. I saw him several times a year, summers, christmas, thanksgiving, and sometimes another time. His son and I were really close growing up since we were only 2yrs apart. He seemed to be everybody's favorite unlce. It's been hard on the whole family since we all thought so much of him and it was totally unexpected.

Due to the funeral we got to see family we haven't seen in 10+yrs. Ellie got play with a couple of her little cousins on my side of the family for a change. She's usually only seeing and playing with cousins on Simon's side. The funeral has us planning a small reunion this August. We have been planning one for next August but it will be a lot bigger, with family from CA coming.

I rescheduled Ellie's GI appointment, I think I may cancel it though. Suddenly she's doing amazing with her eating. She loves chicken and carbs. She loves breads and pastas. She likes lentils but not into other beans. I'm having to feed her a meal w/out her seeing bread or pasta some during the day because she'll just eat that stuff and no veggies and meats. Chicken is really the only meat she does right now. It's really the only meat I eat too, so I guess it makes sense.

She's walking all over the place. She would rather walk than crawl now, which I actually like. I'll let her walk to the car some days. She weighs 20lbs, so she has finally gained a pound. First gained pound in 2 months. She is doing a lot of babbling and making sounds, but I don't talk that language. She does say doggie when she's around a dog. She says moma and dada, but I'm not convinced that it's just sounds she's saying vs. saying it on purpose. She will say other words once and never repeat them. For example after the grave side service my aunt Betty, (uncle who passed wife), rode with us back to her house. We were all talking, and Ellie clearly said "Betty." She never said it again. So you tell me did she know what she was saying when she Betty, or was she just experimenting w/ sounds?

I'm finished w/ my class. I made an "A" I'm so proud of myself. Now I have to take a test the college failed to tell me about. Actually they told me NOT to take it, just for me to find out that I need to take it. Oh well, that gives me more time to be home w/ Ellie. Somebody else told me there's a certain english and math you need, but I've NEVER heard that from anybody else. So this summer and next semester I will find all that out and hopefully have everything in place to start surg. tech aug. 2011.

That's all for now. Not too much else going on.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Sorry I've been MIA

Ok, I'm back. Life has been so hectic, I can't even say what's all been going, because it's been so much, but I am on facebook a lot. Just not much w/ updating my blog.
I have lost 16lbs and still going strong. I'm not doing a whole lot to lose weight, just trying alter my eating and having an active 1yr old gets me moving a little more. She isn't happy with a "lazy day" just staying at home. So we go out, somewhere everyday. She's so much fun though. I have my exam tomorrow, well actually today. Then next week I'm going to start looking for a job I can do from home to make a little extra income. If I can accomplish this, then we may TTC#2 this summer, putting the kids hopefully 2-3yrs apart. As for surgical tech, yes I still want to do that. However if I do that fall 2011, then obviously I wont get pregnant until after, but I'm still going to be going into the work force until after the 2nd child is older. So we'll probably TTC for a few months this summer. However if I can't make additional income then we are so done for now.
Ellie is doing great. She has moved up to the walkers in nursery at church. She's walking, and steady enough to be with almost 2yr olds. She loves the park, she likes the slide and swing. She still has just 4 teeth, but I'm happy with that, they are sharp. She's eating better. For a while she was gagging and throwing up everything that wasn't stage 2 baby food. Because of that her dr. wants her on formula longer. But the last week or 2, she's started doing better. Still not great, but a lot better. She can eat bread, crackers, beans, rice, and things like that. She gets 1-3 bottles a day. Soon I will try formula in a sippy and hopefully wean her from the actual bottle. She's not saying a lot of words, mama, dada, bobo and dobo, baby, boo, and maimi. Her and I are dog/house sitting for family w/ 3 dogs, one named Lobo. My mom's dog is boosi. Ellie calls her baby doll maimi. We have a GI appointment at the end of the week, but I'm wondering if we really need it. We'll go and see what happens.
I'll try to post again later this week.

Monday, April 5, 2010

Happy Birthday Ellie/Happy Easter

Yesterday was Ellie's 1st birthday. We had her party on Saturday. What a success. My MIL wanted to invite ALL the family who had babies which means almost everybody, so of course I had to invite the few families in the extended family that didn't have babies. Besides Ellie we had 3 of the babies, 2 weren't there. We had just over 40 people at her party. To offset the high number coming from DH's side I invited some family and family friends on our side. It seemed to work well. We had an easter egg hunt for the kiddos, which they all enjoyed. Ellie even hunted eggs with daddy. Daddy took her around and she picked up eggs and put them in the bag. Then later when the kids counted their eggs we sat her on the sidewalk with the others and counted 13 eggs. It was so cute, I'll have to get my SIL's pic she took of Ellie hunting eggs posted sometime.
Of course we had cake. Ellie's cake had her initial logo my mom created. You know the butterfly made out of the initials EEB. It was pretty neat. She didn't dig into the cake like other babies do, she was quite reserved, but eventually she got her hands all dirty, just not her face. Good girl, I'm raising her right, lets not get all sticky.
We were going to do a diaper derby, but no other baby can crawl yet, so obviously it wouldn't have been too fair. We did where everybody guessed how many fruit loops were in a container. My mentally challenged cousin, he's on a 7ish yr old level guessed the closes, I was shocked. The 2nd place winner was an 11yr old, again rather shocked. Ellie would have been 2nd place if my mom put what she meant to put for Ellie's guess. My mom put 1999, for some reason...all we can think is my mema died April of 1999. My mom wanted to put 2009 for the year Ellie was born. That would have won her maybe even 1st place. My cousin, put 200018..meaning 2018, but he didn't know how to write it.
She got SOOOO many gifts. I'll say it was about an equal division with the clothes, toys, and books. So far her favorite toy seems to be what I, well, DH and I got her. But I picked it out. It's basketball goal, w/ 2 little hard plastic balls, connected to it, there is baseball and has a little bat, and there's a football. It's designed so more than 1 child can play on it at once. Ellie LOVES balls, so though it may be a "boy" toy it's so her. When you score on the basketball, it cheers and lights up the score, so cool.
She's walking around now. She'll walk halfway across the room and then go back to crawling. She isn't standing up in w/out something to pull up on yet though. She still has 2 teeth on the bottom and 2 teeth on top. She says mommy, dada, mama, baby, bye, maimi, and babbles some other stuff that I can't make out yet. She waves hi and bye. She loves her baby doll which she seems to have named Maimi. Her favorite things are balls, music, her baby dolls, and dogs and cats. She shows the animals and her baby dolls so much love by hugging them, petting them, and kissing the dolls. My baby is really growing up on me. I'm so impressed with the things she's doing and saying. This past year has been the best ever. I don't remember ever smiling and laughing as much as I have since she's been in my life. I may have had a bit of wait before I got pregnant with her, but it was worth every minute and every failed cycle. For now we have got a beautiful and complete family. Eventually we may add to our family, but for now I'm just going to continue to focus on this little one.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Wills/Godparents

Morgan's post has sparked some thinking. Since I was pregnant, we discussed who would get Ellie if something happened to both of us. We can't ever come up with a family, but we do have a few couples in the running, we just haven't asked any of them.

SIL and her husband. They have a 6yr old son, 8yr old daughter, and a 6 month old daughter. She homeschools the kids. The kids are involved with basketball, baseball/softball, football, cheerleading, dance, and gymnastics, basically whatever they seem to have an interest in. The 8yr has and still may be taking piano. The husband is a school teacher and also buys from auctions and yard sales and sells stuff on ebay. They go out of town for a day or weekend for the kids b-day and to concerts and about 2 or 3 big vacations a year. They have a pool at their house, swing set, and trampoline. Just saying all this to give an idea of how they are. Basically your typical middle class family. They live in the town we do. Ellie would be able to basically see most of the family she already sees, being my mom and DH's mom and nana. She may not get to see much of the family that lives out of town, not that she sees them more than a few times a year anyway. They go to a church in town, same denomination as ours. They social drink, which DH and I very against even social drinking because his dad is an alcoholic. We just don't want to play w/ fire and teach our child that it's ok to drink. They are very over protective of their children, way more so than we are. We want Ellie to go to camp as a child and SIL can't even think of that until the kids are teenagers. SIL is instilling in them fears of the dark and doesn't mind having the family bed...we aren't fond of. The kids can't even go into a room at night by themselves they are so scared, which SIL is the same.

Then we have a 2nd cousin of mine. He is going to grad school. His wife is a social worker at a school. They have a boy about a year older than Ellie. He is in daycare close to the school. They live about 3hrs away from us, so who really knows how often Ellie would see some of her family around here. But she would see some family on my side that she doesn't see often, and she would have a large other side of the family. We don't know a whole lot about the way they raise their son. All I know is they are very responsible adults and I guess I would say they are again a typical middle class family who is trying to improve theirselve. She has a master degree, and like I said he's getting one. I know they go on vacations and their son doesn't lack stuff. He gets to see his grandparents (my great aunt and uncle) weekly, which is great.

Then we have another 2nd cousin of mine. She works for maybe sprint or something like that. Her husband is hispanic, and actually was (not sure now) if he's legally a citizen. I know they had to move to the boarder at some point so he could come here legally. It was supposed to take a year but it took him 6 months and he was back, so don't know details. He travels a lot, going where work is. They live in descent house. They live very close to the great aunt and uncle I mentioned above, and Ellie would see them often. They don't have kid stuff, or go on vacation, they don't have any kids. She's dealing with infertility AND with her husband being out of town a lot. I don't know as much about them as I do SIL.

So based on what I wrote, who would you lean towards? After writing it I think I know who I am leaning toward. How do you confront a couple about stepping in and taking custody of your child in the event something happens, and how do you make it legal?

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Great Stride walk

I registered to walk in the upcoming great stride walk for CF in a couple weeks. In case anyone wanted to donate you can go to http://www.cff.org/Great_Strides/index.cfm

Type in Sherry Bean, and Tennesse. I'm really the 2nd Sherry Bean that pops up. The first was an oops I created, i have to figure out how to delete it. For some reason as soon as I created it i guess I didn't know my password and/or username. I don't know.

Anyway, thank you very much.

On a side note, I will not be online much for a few weeks. Besides being busy, my computer is messing up and until we get it fixed I am going online when I'm at other's houses.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Update on DH's new attitude

The other day when we were discussing family planning, DH said he wanted to wait 5yrs to have another baby. I was just talking to him because I'm not 100% sure I will get into the surgical tech program this year. I mean there are a lot of people trying to get into a program that only allows 20 people. I was just wanting to discuss that if I don't get accepted into the program for this fall, we'll know next month, then I'll want to go ahead and have another child before the following fall when hopefully I'll be accepted. I really don't want, and he didn't either for our childern to have HUGE age gaps. But, he was saying that he wants to wait 5yrs.

Then today we were talking. He made it clear he doesn't want to keep going through a bunch of miscarriages. Let me say, I did find out that I am O+ so the fact that I didn't get the rhogam shot is not an issue. Apparently a lot of his problem is the miscarriage. I confided a lot is friends online and my mom and even DH. But he holds it all in and doesn't work through the emotions. I'm pretty much ok with things now. I mean, sure I have my moments, but for the most part I've worked through the grieving process. He isn't and he isn't going to express himself, that isn't him.

We'll talk about family later, for now we're preventing. No biggie. I just want him to emotionally heal before we discuss family planning more.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Why doesn't he want to be with me

Simon is over the road for 7 days, then home for 3-4. During that time we used to get a date, at least every other time. That quickly ended. But we did try to do something special as a family with Ellie. All was well, but now that is coming to an end. He does stuff with her, but not if I'm going to. He'll take her to the mall, or to his dad's or his friends. But, like I said, not if I'm around. Everytime WE try to go somewhere together, regardless of where or what he gets a headache, he feels sick, he gets tired, he gets depressed. Today we didn't even make it 1/4ml down the road before he turned around and went back home. Ellie and I went out to spend family time together, with Simon. I've told him repeatedly that if he's not going to spend time with us, then I'm not going to adjust my life. We will continue with life as we usually do, if he wants to participate, then he can, if not that way we aren't making special arrangements for ultimately nothing. For example, I blew off a playgroup today because he was home and we had "plans." Turned out we didn't follow through with those plans, but it was too late for the playgroup because I didn't know the directions to the woman's house. Those kind of things happen all the time now. It's like he has no use for me anymore.
When he comes home he says hi to me, kiss me, then goes to Ellie...no harm there. But then when I try to talk to him, ask him questions or anything he doesn't answer, he doesn't listen, he doesn't acknowledge me.

I wish I knew what his problem is. I wish he wanted to be around me, but he doesn't. I guess I can't blame him...I mean it's me we're talking about. Oh well, I'm trying to get to the point of being ok about his decisions to not be with me.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Assured and in pain

I talked to the nurse AND the place I give blood at. Both said I am O+. What a relief. I can breath now.

TMI, I think I passed the baby, well more like a large clot. Now my back is hurting SOOOOOO bad. I thought I had excaped a miscarriage without much pain, or maybe my pain tolerance is just that high. I'm not convinced of either now. My low back is hurting so bad it's not even funny. I may have to dig into to the supply of tylenol w/ codine or hydrocodone.

Emotionally, I am shocked at what I'm feeling. Yesterday I was upset at myself because, honestly I didn't care too much. I wasn't pregnant long, I have Ellie, no biggie. But today, it's a BIG difference. I'm missing my "Little Baby." I had already looked at the double stroller and carseat I wanted, and I was very close to buying 2 gender neutral PJ's that were on sale one for Ellie and one for Little Baby.

I guess any loss you go through the stages of grief.

miscarriage and major concern

It was just a miscarriage, not a molar pregnancy...thank God. And it seems I am miscarrying without the need for a D&C so another good thing. Little Ellie is being an absolute life saver. If I didn't have her, it would be so much harder. Or if I had spent a while TTC it would be a lot harder.

Simon and I have decided to TAB from any TTC efforts. We are going to prevent, for a while and research the copper IUD and see if I'm allergic to copper. We'll just spoil little Ellie for now.

I'm concerned about something BIG. I thought I was O- before I was pregnant with Ellie and during most of the pregnancy. When it came time for the rhogam shot I asked them about it. They said I don't need one because I'm O+. That's fine I wasn't 100% sure anyway, I just always thought I was the universal doner, and that would be O-. They double checked my files and indeed I was O+ so I didn't get a rhogam shot. WELLLL, when they did blood work Friday for the miscarriage the lab report says I'm O-. WAIT, if I'm O-, I know Ellie is O+ and I NEVER got the rhogam shot. So I'm a little freaked. I asked the doctor real quick in the hall on my way out because that's when I noticed it. He said that's not right, that I'm O+, that it's confusing. I'm not sure what the confusing part is, I'm pretty worried. I'm afraid the lab or the doctor's office made some kind of mistake and I should have gotten the rhogam shot.

I have given blood in the pass, can I call the company and get my blood type from them? Or should I give blood again in order to find out? Or do I call the doctor's office and talk with the nurse, expressing my concern?

Also if this indeed was a mistake and I can never have anymore children because of this mistake, is it ground for a law suit? We ALWAYS wanted more than 1 child. I know, there are lots of people who can't even have that 1 child. But still wouldn't it be a big enough thing, I mean THEY made me to never be able to carry another child.

Friday, February 26, 2010

Miscarraige or Molar Pregnancy TRIGS

I spotted a little last night, but I wasn't overly concerned. I had some minor spotting with Ellie around that same time. Plus the spotting went away, until this afternoon. I had already called the dr.'s office and they wanted to see because of high blood pressure readings, my clogged ears, and the spotting I thought I should report. This afternoon I started spotting just a bit more, so I was happy that I had made an appointment.

My doctor is on vacation so I had to see another doctor, who is absolutely awesome. He did an ultrasound and delivered the news one is never ready for, but I tried to prepare myself for. He said he's not seeing what he should be seeing at 6wks. There was no yolk sac, no fetal pole, no beating heart, nowhere for a beating heart. I said, so it looks like a miscarriage? He said yeah, or what he's concerned about is a molar pregnancy. A few times during the u/s as I looked at this screen with a thick uterus lining, but nothing else, I started to get a little choked up, but I stayed strong. This kind of thing happens to a lot of women, right. They survive, I will too.

I have to go back on Monday for repeat Beta's, an ultra sound, and an appointment with my doctor. The doctor I saw today gave me a script for pain meds in case I need them this weekend, told me to try to get rest. Told me when I would need to go to the ER and call the on call number...hopefully it wont be that bad though. So he's pretty sure it's not a vialable pregnancy. He said I'll probably be having a D&C next week. Ugh, I hope not. My mom is having back surgery on Monday. Simon will be back out trucking. MIL can't get off work. Grandma will be taking care of my mom. Nana will be all that's left to get me to and fro, and who will babysit Ellie if nana is with me. Hopefully I will pass this on my own.

I'll let you all know how things go as I can this weekend and Monday.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

I want to cry

I don't cry often. Sometimes when I'm REALLY mad, if you say something mean about my baby or my husband, or when I'm post partum. I'm really not your "typical" woman. I can't even make myself cry if I feel the need. In fact I really don't understand how some people can cry like they do. I'm so not the ball of tears others are.

BUT, I want to cry so bad right now. It's totally unpregnancy related so don't worry. It's these darn ears. I'm so fed up. Still no pain really. Maybe an occassional twinge of pain here or there, but nothing major. I JUST CAN'T HEAR! I can't hear in my dishwasher when I'm right beside it, nor can I hear my microwave, or the washer machine. I can't hear the microwave beeps when it's finished. The TV has to be up to 50 before I comfortably hear and make out what is being said. Though my phone ringer is as loud as it can be, I don't hear it ring. Either my baby has been VERY quiet today or I'm not hearing her.

I always sing to her, but I can't sing to her now. I'm missing our little cuddle times where I sing to her and she sings a constant "AAAA" sound. It's so beautiful. But my ears are too stopped up to sing. I hate talking because I don't know how loud I'm talking. Either I'm talking way too loud or not loud enough. How can I tell how loud I'm talking? This is so frustrating.

No I haven't been to any doctor yet, other than my OBGYN that made it clear I just have to deal with it. First of all, in order to see another doctor, I would have to call and I for one HATE talking like this. Plug both of your ears with your fingers and talk. That's EXACTLY how it is for me 24/7 now. No relief. That's why I'm having a hard time with this; and it's getting worse, not better.

I was hoping it was getting better because my ears were itching on the inside. That started a few days ago, and now it's worse. This is bad enough that I am moments away from crying.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Happy Anniversary to me

Such a lonely, normal day. I woke up this morning, got ready, got Ellie ready, took Ellie to her aunt's house, went to school. After class I went to pick Ellie up. Her and I went to Target to get some of those Little Boogie nose wipes for babies, toilet paper, window shop baby/toddler clothes, and I got me some of those little cheddar rice cakes (Yummy). Came home, checked the mail, changed a diaper. I'm tired as all get out, but I think I really want to go to choir practice tonight. I'm not talking much because my ears are so stopped up. But, I'm tired of not going to choir, so maybe I'll go and just sit and learn the stuff so I'll know it when we are singing it.

That's my day in a nutshell, Feb. 24, 2010, mine and Simon's 3rd year anniversary. He's out, he will be home Friday, Saturday, or Sunday. He's sure he wont be back Friday, which is actually when they have him getting back so here's to another week last week where he'll be home 2 freakin days. I'm so upset. I keep telling him that the company doesn't care if he's getting all his crap out of one truck and moving it into another truck to go back out. They don't care if he gets any home time. It's his responsibility to tell them that he is supposed to get home and can't take a certain load because he'll be home late if he does. But, that's his business if he doesn't want to spend time with his wife and child. Whatever. I told him if he gets home late he really should tell them when they call him the next day getting him to go out the following day (not even 2 full days home), that he isn't going out till he's home. But if he doesn't want to do that, which knowing him, he wont, then oh well. I told him Ellie and I will be going through our days like normal, with him here or not. Nana will babysit Ellie on Monday, my SIL on Wednesdays, and my mom or somebody on Fridays. If it's not important to him to be home when he's supposed to be, then it's not going to be important for me to alter our schedule for if or when he's home.

Maybe it's the pregnancy hormones talking, but I'm not too happy with they way he's making this job his life. I understand when he's out he needs to be out. But he refuses to get info from the stock we took out last year for tax purposes. It wasn't may stock, I have NO idea what it's about. He's supposed to be out for a week, 7 days, meaning if he goes out Saturday, he comes home Friday. Then he's supposed to be home 3-5 days. It was all great at first he was home when he was supposed to be, I could actually estimate a couple weeks in advance and "plan" something. Now I can't because the are keeping him out an extra day, so he's only home 2 days. And "THEY" are people who are home EVERY night with their damn family. The hell with them. I'm mad at them. I'm mad at DH for letting them walk all over him like that. He would rather jump when they say jump, than do things "right," the way they are supposed to be. Then in an attempt to be supportive, I back tracked and said maybe he is right, and maybe he should go ahead and just play the kiss ass game for now. Since he is new, maybe he should do whatever they say and suck it up if he's not getting home time. Then he got mad because he said I was supposed to be suportive. Ummm, I thought I was being supportive.

I'm pretty sure we wont be celebrating our anniversary this year. Oh well, it's not that big of a deal anyway. I thought we were going to celebrate it this Saturday, but if he gets home Saturday or Sunday, then that's out of the question. It's not all that important, in fact I really don't even want to celebrate it. I mean we wont have a babysitter anyway, so we wont be going on an actual date anyway. We got married 10 days after valentines day so we would have 10ish days to celebrate either or both. Guess this year we're celbrating NEITHER at all. Maybe we'll celbrate our 5yrs and 10yr...yeah we'll just do stuff for the big anniversaries. The little ones don't matter anyway. Just like birthdays...all those people that make a huge deal over every birthday, need to grow up and realize the world does NOT and NEVER did revolve around them. Sorry if that stepped on toes. Obviously I'm not happy right now and MY blog is MY place that I can vent.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

For my records about pregnancy

I have enjoyed reading my previous post here around the same time my in my pregnancy with Ellie. So this is mainly for my purposes, but feel free to read. It's going to be short and sweat pregnancy related.
I'm 5w4d. SLIGHTY sore girls. No m/s, no cramping anymore, no excessive hunger, no backache, no gas, no constipation. A tad bit emotional and short fused and easily stressed. I'm not anymore or less exhausted than I was before...ok, maybe a little, but not like I would think I would be. All in all I'm feeling great. Waiting impatiently for some symptoms to pick up some, but hoping I don't have real bad m/s like I did with Ellie.
I'm pretty afraid that I will go in for my u/s at 8wks and there will not be a heartbeat. I think it's a normal fear. I guess the lack of symptoms have me worried.
I still have my clogged/stopped up ears. I'm hanging in there pretty strong for as long as I can until I can't hold out anymore for antibiotic.

At this point I want to feel pregnant, but I simply don't.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

I'VE HAD ENOUGH!!!

2 Friday's ago I had a sore throat. Four days later still had a sore throat. Being concerned it was strep throat I went in to see the doctor. It wasn't strep throat so I was instructed to treat the symptoms. No problem, right. Wed. night the ear infection kicked in. I was in such horrible pain that whole night. I didn't get much sleep it was so bad. Thursday we did those ear candles. For about 3hrs I didn't have pain and my ears were clear, they weren't stopped up at all. YAY!!! But then they started getting stopped up again. Grrr. Fortunately the pain never returned like it was. I held out and just talked to my doctor at my appointment on Friday. It was my first prenatal appointment. I told him about the ear infection. He looked for the otoscope, for like 30 seconds, said he couldn't find it. Just treat the symptoms. I have been taking sudafed like it's candy, I was taking benadryl, but Simon isn't home now. I'm taking loratidine once a day. My ears are so stopped up. I'm not talking much to people, not even Ellie. I hate the way I sound, I hate the way I'm hearing. My ears do hurt a little, but I can deal with that, it's the stopped up ears I've had enough of.

You all know how I worry. I'm also worried about the possible damage untreated an untreated ear infection will do. I know my doc thinks it will clear up on it's own. But I wasn't nearly deaf as a child because my ear infections cleared up. I did get tubes in my ears because they cleared up. And I have been told numerous times as an adult that I would likely need tubes in 1 or both ears at some point because all is well in there.

Where do I got from here? Do I insist on them giving me something, aren't there antibiotic eardrops? Do I just deal with and if that's the answer, for how long, another week, 2wks, 4wks or until 2nd tri? Do I go to my PCP? What shall I do? I seriously have no idea.

Friday, February 19, 2010

Randomness

School: I made another 100 on my quiz on Monday. That makes it 3 100's and one 90. We have quite a few left to go so hopefully I can get 2 more 100's so I will have a perfect 100 score for the quiz part. I had our first big exam on Wed. Hopefully I get it back today. I'm pretty sure I missed a few. I'll be happy with a B, but I'm guessing there's a chance I got an A.

Me: I am so sick. My MIL gave me the cold/virus thing she had. I had a sore throat for 4 days. Then it progressed to all out runny nose and coughing. I have a double ear infection. I used some ear candles for the first time, SCARY, but they worked. For several hours it was as if I didn't have an ear infection, then the pain and stopped up feeling slowly started to return. But it NEVER got as bad as it was before. Hopefully I can do ear candles again tomorrow and it will help some more because I really don't want to take antibiotic.

Ellie: She's doing GREAT!! I'm so hoping she doesn't get what I have. It's one thing to be sick, but it's another thing to have your baby sick. But much worse when you're sick AND you baby is sick. She's so happy right now because Daddy is home. She didn't go to sleep last night until close to midnight. I have given up on trying to keep her on a good baby schedule, you know, getting to bed at 8pm. She does great unless she spends the night with my mom, MIL, or daddy is home. She is wide a wake and just wants to play with them, until she can't stay awake anymore. She is so close to walking. She will stand unassisted for a while, and take a little step with one foot then she falls. She loves Johny Cash. Simon and her watched Walk The Line last night and Ellie sat on her knees in the middle of the floor lifting herself up to be standing on her knees, and was dancing and clapping her hands. So darn cute...I should have ran to the video camera, why didn't I think of that. Darn. But she stopped when she noticed I was watching her. Lil stinker. Figured out when anybody kisses somebody she laughs. When Simon and I kiss she laughs. When her cousin kisses her baby sister she laughs. I don't know what is so funny about kissing but she thinks it's funny. She's cutting 2 teeth on top now, this will give her 4 teeth.

Simon: Such a short visit home this time. He was supposed to be home Tuesday evening, but for certain reasons he didn't make it home till Thursday. The time I need him home, he is only home for a couple days. He was home yesterday and today and has to leave out tomorrow. :-(

Little Bit: Blood work results in. Friday's progesterone was 7.77; Monday's progesterone was 9.4. I've been taking my prometrium now so I'm sure that has gone up again. Friday HCG 34.12. Monday's HCG 255.4. That's doubling every 1.03 days. I have my first actual prenatal appointment today. Symptom wise everything is going great, it'll be better if I can get rid of this cold. I am getting slightly queasy at times, but nothing a little bit to eat or some ginger ale, or getting away from the odor wont fix. So I'm all good there, for now.

Monday, February 15, 2010

Family VENT please read and comment

This may get long. Please read, because I need comments.

A little history first. Growing up my aunt, I'll call her P... has always been jealous of my mom. My mom had child, my mom had been married, my mom had sex in her life. My mom was VERY close to her child. P... was openly jealous because my mom had way more than what she ever could have. She took her jealousy to an angry level. P... later became jealous because my mom gets to be a grandma and she will never be a grandma. She assumed when Ellie was born that she would be like a grandma to Ellie. Well, I never saw P... as a mom so idealy P... isn't going to be like a grandma.
Keep in mind P... has never been married. When I was 20yrs old she decided that she wanted to do a foster to adopt program to adopt a mentally challanged child. It was obvious to my mom and I that it wasn't all about having a big heart, but a lot about wanting to be a MOM herself. She bragged about how much of a mother's heart she had. So, she fostered a 16yr old boy and adopted him when he was 17. Suddenly she's got her title of mom, along with a crap load of money from social security disability and adoption assistance, and she never had to put him on her insurance because of state medicaid. She complained that she want to be around him. She always needed a break from him. She had him wash his own clothes then complained when he couldn't do it...but she would never supervise him. She yelled and screamed (I've witnessed it many times) at him for not properly grooming himself and washing himself properly. She brainwashed him early on that she never yells. She freaked out and yelled at him if he didn't make his sandwich or other little meal "right." But again she never supervised him. Remember he's mentally challenged. His IQ is around 47. She yelled at him if she sent him to look for something and he didn't find it. Then she would go look and half the time the item wasn't even there. She yelled if she told him to get a pan out (not specific about what she wanted), and her son had no idea what she wanted but knew that if he brought out the wrong thing that he would get yelled at, but his lack of speed at finding what she wanted led her to yelling. BTW, he's also got mental illnesses too. As you can see she was never a real "mother" to him, but rather an emotionally abusive mom wannabe. When he was in high school she pushed for him to get his high school diploma. The test to graduate was given to him by another student reading the test and leading him to the right answer. While in school he never had homework, he never did a research paper, or a project. Somehow he got a high school diploma. She boasted about him receiving his high school diploma. Other times she complained about how people don't know how mentally challanged he is. Right there, if he is smart enough to get a high school diploma then he SHOULD be smart enough to flip burgers at McDondalds, or work security at a factory or work in a factory, all of these jobs require high school diplomas.

So recently her son, we'll call him J... has been put in jail. Since he's been 21, he's 22 now, his adoption assistance has stopped. From that point on, she's been trying to get him into a group home. Thanks the economy it couldn't happen unless he was either homeless, in jail, or in a mental hospital. For a year and a half now she has been pushing his every button to try to get his mental illness get the best of him. She's been YELLING at him and making his life MISERABLE. He's been very unhappy living with her and has voiced his unhappiness for some time now. But she always manages to brainwash him to believing that it is his fault.

Ok, so back to J... being in jail. She would only let him eat 2 pack of instant oatmeal, but he wanted 3 packs. She got mad and yelled, he got mad and yelled back. She told him to take a walk, and I'm sure he probably told her to take a walk. Obviously this pissed P... off even more, since she is over 400lbs and it's impossible to walk from the recliner infront of the TV where she stays. This is where I'm not sure of the details, but J... finally hit P... and thus she called the cops and had him put in jail. Now she's the victim. Victim my ass, excuse my language. But from what I've witnessed he is just as much of the victim, and yet he's the one that's getting all the blame and she's got a crown for being such a wonderful mother and going through such a rough time. Well, this was pretty much her only way to get rid of him like she had voiced so many times she wanted to do.

The other day she called me. I wanted to stay out of it and just get 2nd hand info from my mom. But Simon encouraged me to answer because afterall she did need support. Regardless of how much she treated J... like shit, it still has to be hard on her. So I answered. This is where the real vent begins.

Apparently all this started when Ellie was born. Simon and I stopped spending time with J... Ellie got all the attention. First of all if you remember, 4 days after Ellie was born Simon broke his leg. He couldn't put weight on his leg for over 3 months. Then he went back through trucking school, then became an over the road truck driver. Despite all this, Simon did attempt to spend some time with J... As for me, I never had a desire to spend time with J... anyway. I didn't like him, and I had little to no use for him. He always wanted to complain about how his mom treated him and any response you gave he told his mom that you said what he said resulting in her calling and blessing you out. Not something I ever became fond of. So J...'s problems are the result of MY baby, MY husband, and MYSELF. That was the end of the conversation. I was FURIOUS and shaking and had to get off the phone before I exploded. Since I haven't answered her calls. I mean a killer sore throat hasn't helped much either, since I don't really want to talk much, which I did text her that I have had a sore throat for 4 days and I'm not able to talk much.

I guess her being mean, yelling, screaming, and nitpicking everything had NOTHING to do with J...'s reaction and situation. Nope, it all has to do with my family. All our fault. Because J...'s had a 2nd cousin born. Umm, I'm sorry I didn't think about how a baby would affect her son, guess I should never have gone on with my life in getting married and having a baby, right? What an insensitive person I was to have a baby. Obviously I'm being sarcastic, but basically that's what she says.

I am SO close to going off on her ass. Because I'm sorry, but her mistreating J... the way she has, has been so much more of her problem. Now thinking about it, she didn't find out about the only way to get him in a group home and out of her house until Ellie was born or right around that time. I'm about to go all pregnancy hormonal on her. Yep, I will blame the hormones, but it's getting to a point that I have to say something. She told my mom that I need to put on my grown up pants. I'm not sure what she's talking about there. But she needs to put on her way oversized grown up pants and start taking responsibility for her stupid, inconsiderate actions rather than dishing out the responsibility to everyone else. If the bitch continues with this shit, she's not going to know what hit when I go off on her, and I'm very close to going off on her. Again, I'm sorry for my language, but when I'm upset those words come out. Better on computer than out loud though, right. For now I am using all the restraint I can to not go off, but I'm about to reach my boiling point. And again it's not going to be pretty. I was once told if you want to see the worse in the woman, say something negative about her husband or child. And she's done just that, and I'm experiencing the worse feelings. I'm sure my hormones aren't helping a bit.

Thank you for reading this. I would appreiciate comments of any kind. Calm me down, or tell me I'm write and this woman really is a bitch, or give me advice as to what and how to tell her off. I don't care, but please don't take her side, because this is just part of the story, as it would be a book if I wrote everything.

Bad blood work results

I went to the doctor for a throat swab. It was negative for strep throat. My dr. doesn't want to give antibiotics this early on, so I basically just have to deal with it. I have tried gargling w/ salt water, tylenol, cough drops, a bunch of stuff, and it only helps while I'm doing it. Hopefully it'll get better soon.

He sort of quickly showed me my blood work results from friday. My progesterone was low at 7.77. My HCG showed that I was only like 1 day pregnant, it was so low. They did more blood work. He said if my numbers don't rise as they should then it's not good. I have yet to be able to say or type the words. The thought of _______ is so scary and heartbreaking. I'm trying not to worry too much though, because worrying isn't going to help things. I need prayers and good vibes.

Simon is pretty upset about the possibility, so say a little prayer for him too. He is about to be against all forms of birth control, which isn't good for me.

Strep Throat

I am about 90% sure I have strep throat. My throat has been hurting pretty bad for 4 days now. It's red, and has white areas and swollen. It hurts to swallow and I have drainage. It's zapping my appetite completely. At times it itches, and I thought it was meaning it was getting better, but then the pain would once again take over the itchy/scratchy feeling. I really hope they can squeeze me in today at my doctor's office. I hate going around with a sore throat, I don't even want to talk. I don't even care if I have to miss class today. I would like to go to class, so hopefully they can get me in before. But if not I would like to at least go to class and take the quiz then I'll leave. Maybe I can even make it back for lab.

I REALLY hope Ellie doesn't get it. I don't even know really how to keep a watch for it. I guess she'll pop her throat like she does right before she gets a sinus infection. I'll have to keep a close watch on her so I can hopefully detect it before she goes 4 days with a horrible sore throat.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

TRIGS As soon as I was content

As soon as I was ok with not being pregnant, if you read my previous post here, you'll understand, AF ended up being late. I assumed my luteal phase was different since this was my first real cycle since giving birth. Then my temp went up and was staying up so for the heck of it I took a HPT. It was bad blue dye test that I've read many things about false positives. To my suprise it was positive, but I didn't believe it until I got the FRER, that one was positive. I called the doctor and they had me go in for blood work, this was all Friday, btw. I peed in a cup for them and my result was neither positive or negative. They said it's probably too early, but I don't know at 14dpo?? Oh well, it is what it is. Friday evening I took a FRER digital and is said YES. So I'm guessing I am PREGNANT!!

My mom and grandma are less supportive than I hoped, but I'm sure they will come around. It took about 24hrs for my mom to congratulate us. She just doesn't like that I am having another so soon and she doesn't feel we are ready for another child. Whatever, Simon and I have discussed it and we were ok with this. My mom said we should have just had one. She just had 1 and always wanted more, but her circumstances never allowed it, then she ended up disabled. Grandma had 5 sons and she didn't want even 1 child, she never played with them or anything. She wasn't happy being a mother. So, Simon and I think there's a little jealousy associated.

Simon's family is thrilled. I'm sure Simon forgot to say not to tell anybody. I was wanting to keep it on the dl until we see the u/s and heartbeat, considering the neither positive or negative results.

I'm so early, I'm just enjoying being pregnant before the real symptoms kick in. So far I'm just really tired, but it may not be the pregnancy, it could be Ellie and the winter gloominess. I have a sore throat, but nothing hot tea, and salt water can't help soothe. If all goes well I should be able to get a VBAC, if I still want to at the end.

I may not post as much as I am worn out and busy. Just wanted to let my blog family know.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Bittersweet

This is my blog and I have something to say and nowhere to say it, so this is as good as any place. This may be a little bit of TRIGS to those still fighting the infertility war, so if you're having a particular hard day you may not want to read. Though I'm sure you've realized now that most of my posts will have baby related stuff.

This is regarding TTC. I am 11dpo and got a BFN. First off the cycle isn't over yet, so my feelings may be premature. I am feeling 2 very different feelings, but I can't help my feelings. I am scared and I am relieved.

First I'll type about the scared feeling. I know to a lot 14 months isn't a long time to spend TTC, that's what it took for me to get pregnant. I had a diagnosis of PCOS and endometriosis. I had surgery for the endo, I was on clomid for a few round, but wasn't when I got pregnant. The doctor was looking at putting me back on clomid if I didn't get pregnant when I did. I also learned that I was a candidate for IUI, and would probably need that to get pregnant. I was also told my a different doctor that I would probably need IVF to get pregnant. Our insurance does NOT cover IVF or IUI cycles. We could come up with the money for the IUI cycles, but I really don't think we could come up with the money for IVF, that's some expensive stuff. And we have family who would be so against it and give us so much grief about it. I know that this is just one BFN and failed cycle, but I can't help but to think how I was lucky/blessed with getting pregnant the first time. Maybe I wont be so lucky again. It scares the crap out of me, thinking that I may have an even longer road down infertility lane.

I know maybe I should just be content with the beautiful baby girl I have. BUT, DH and I have NEVER seen ourselves with just 1 or even 2 children. Now, we have seen ourselves competing with the Duggars or anything, but we want a nice big happy family.

After reading about my fear you wouldn't think there would be room for relief. Well there is a ton of relief. If I am or had gotten pregnant, Ellie would be about 18 1/2 months old. That's still pretty young. I mean it's the closest I would want 2 children to be in age, hence why we opted to start trying when we did. But still, she's only 10 months right now, still very much my little baby. Simon is still over the road. It will be so much better if Simon is local while I'm pregnant so that he can have more to do with the pregnancy and help me more. Hopefully he'll find a local job in June. It would be awesome if I got pregnant around June or July. That would be Ellie and little brother or sister, almost exactly 2yrs apart. Also if I have a rough pregnancy with m/s and stuff, I can have Simon's help. If I get pregnant before the fall semester starts then I know that I wont be doing any schooling then, which isn't a problem. Simon really would rather me not do full time school anyway, so I can be a SAHM as long as I can. But, the relief comes in, that TTC#2 is way different from TTC#1. Now rather it be a pregnancy sucking the energy out of me or a new baby in house, it affects my first child greatly. I know I will be able to love both the same. It's really very hard to explain. I guess because Ellie is still so much a baby still, it gives me a little relief. It would probably be best if I got pregnant when she's less baby and more toddler. Which let me tell you she's getting closer and closer to each week.

Ok, so for my brag session. Ellie is walking when somebody holds ONE hand. She has a real good gait too, she's not wobbling when she walks, but rather more of a one foot infront of another, ok, so maybe she does have some wobble in her step too, lol. When I'm trying to get her changed on the floor or brush her hair, she will crawl FAST away from me and giggle the whole time.

Obviously I have very mixed feelings about a failed cycle. But it's just what I'm feeling scared and relieved. Oh, and if I had gotten a BFP I would have been scared and relieved for the exact opposite. Relieved it didn't take long to conceived, and scared about how it would affect Ellie. So, either way, I would have the same feelings.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Party Planning

Anybody good at party planning? I have some ideas w/ many wholes in it for ellie's 1st bday. If you are good at it, we need to be on facebook together and interact via facebook email. Look me up bebsangel@yahoo.com Let me know you read my blog and can offer some help/ideas/insights. TIA.

Monday, February 1, 2010

I'm so smart

Ok, so maybe I'm not SOOO smart, but I'm not stupid. I just made a 100 on my quiz today in class. So far my class average is a 100, we've had 2 quizzes, 10questions each. I'm so good. Ok, before I boast too much, pride comes before a fall so I best shut up and study. I'll study tomorrow, my bed is calling my names.

Sunday, January 31, 2010

YUCK

Simon has been begging for sloppy joes and tator tots for over a month now. It's one of his favorite meals. I FINALLY made it for him, but he ate all the tator tots earlier so I made mac and cheese. I've been experimenting with different sloppy joe mixes, rather than sticking with the canned manwich. Last time I used one of the packets, and OMGosh, it was wonderful. This time I debated on bi-lo brand or name brand. I went with cheaper bi-lo brand. DH liked it pretty well. I on the other hand, HATE it. It's so nasty. NEVER again. So disgusting.

Another yuck, I have a yeast infection. :-( Simon leaves tomorrow early in the morning for a week. He wanted to have a little fun tonight, but I feel so gross, not to mention the pain, itching, and discomfort I'm feeling. I took a diflucan today and I have some monistat cream. Hopefully I'll be symptom free in no time. Until then YUCK!!

And for the reason I got the infection in the first place, I'm on an antibiotic. Don't worry I have stocked up on yogurt now. I'm on antibiotic for a gum infection, which is another YUCK. I had a root canal many a year ago, I was maybe 15 or 16. The dentist failed to mention I needed a crown. So with time that tooth has broken quite a bit (it's in the back). All that's left is the bottom (closer to the gum) and the outer wall. Last March the gum all around it got massively infected. It was no fun. It hurt to eat. The gum was swollen, and just plain irritated. Back in March I was also sick with a sinus infection so I was given antibiotic, which got rid of the gum infection too. WELL, the gum infection came back, maybe it's time I get the remains of the tooth pulled. It was so painful this time, that my jaw on that side felt bruised and hurt. My cheek on that side was swollen. The good news is I'm about halfway through w/ the antibiotic and the pain is about half gone.

I'm pretty sure that's all the "yuckiness" for now.

Friday, January 29, 2010

I'm smart

Class is going GREAT!! Better than I ever thought. We have a quiz every Monday, and he takes the 5 highest quiz grades we have and uses those for the final grade. Welp, I have 1 quiz grade behind me. He passed them back out on Wed. and when he gave me mine he told the class if they are into cheating to sit beside me. I was the only one who got them all right, and I was even the first one finished, and I checked over my answers before handing it in. It was pretty easy, but I have a big head now. I'm understanding the next section pretty well now. At first it was a little hard, but I'm getting it now. The chapter in the book is throwing me off, but fortunately his lectures are making sense and he quizzes on the lectures, so that's good.

Ellie is doing great. If I stand her up in the middle of the room, she will remain standing for a few seconds, sometimes 30 seconds or more. When I stand her up, she laughs so hard it's hard for her to stand.

Simon is home and we are enjoying our time together. Possible TRIGS (TTC) I'm about to O so it's a miracle that he's home for the first C's O. I'm not holding my breath that I'll get pregnant. I think I've said it before, I wouldn't mind Ellie and a sibiling being 18months apart, but I'm pushing for closer to 2yrs apart. I would be ok with 3yrs apart. All this plus PCOS and endo is why I'm we're doing what we can this early.

Anyways, I think that's it. Yep it's a short post this time around.

Friday, January 22, 2010

Clomid alternative-Soy Isoflavones

Apparently the $6 vitamin is supposed to be much like clomid. You take it like clomid 5 days at the beginning of the cycle, you get the same side effects, and apparently your chances of getting pregnant on it are similar to those who take clomid. Only thing, it's not FDA approved for fertility. With that comes, you aren't under a doctor's care as you take it. As many of you may know u/s's and b/w are a part of a clomid cycle.

Here's the kicker; I read this past week about a woman C2 of TTC, never had a baby yet, so she's brand new to the TTC thing, she's planning on taking it next cycle. Apparently it's growing in popularity amognst the new TTCers. I understand being impatient and excited about TTC. I remember trying different things as I learned them to hopefully be the "key" to pregnancy. I know, not as much as some, but more than some too, how heartbreaking a BFN is. BUT, to go out on your OWN w/out a doctor and taking something that is like clomid...that's a bit upsetting. I can understand if you've been on clomid before or if you have PCOS, or if you've been trying longer and no results yet, or if you have a history of IF. I mean eventually I may try it, but I highly doubt it. I'm not trying to bask these women who I feel are jumping the gun and taking it. I just don't understand how you can rationalize it. I mean, say you've never had IF issues, only been TTC for 2 cycles, how would you validate taking clomid?? Same idea here.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

All About us



Most important one first, lol.

Ellie is doing GREAT!! She is walking with her little push toy, it's so cute. Sometimes she will push herself away and let go of what she's leaning on, and well, she falls. But she's trying really hard to stand on her own. She gets credit for that. I took her to the park 2 times this last week, we had some great weather and had to get out. She loves the park and LOVES the swing. She cries when we leave the park. But you know, we can't stay there constantly, we do have to come home. She still just has 2 bottom teeth, no top ones yet. I took her with me to get formula yesterday. I laid one can on her lap and she didn't want me to take it from her. She picked it up (powder formula can) and tried to drink it, lol. Then today I got her baby food. She wasn't hungry till she saw the jars, so I had to get out the puffs and feed her as we finished up in the store. Her vocab is growing. When she's with dada and not me, she says moma. When she's with me and not dada, she says dada. The seldom times she will say our name around us she'll generally look at us. So cute.

Simon: All is well. He's enjoying his job. He's back out for another week, then will be home for a few days.

Me: GREAT!! Class is awesome. I don't know if it's because I'm older, taking one class, or I'm highly interested in the class, but it's a lot easier than college classes were back in the day. Only problem is the class is too short. I could have stayed in class for another 30 minutes. I've lost 6lbs in a month. Ok maybe that's not great, but I had lost the weight, then Christmas I gained it or most of it back, and now I've lost it. I had to go to a doctor I went to last month so they have a good comparison. I have a lot more energy since getting my IUD out. I used to have to nap at least 1 time a day, now I'm having no problems with 1 nap a week. I can even stay awake with little to no problem on Sunday afternoons. That says a lot.

I have another topic of discussion, but I'll save it for a later date. The previous pictures were taken less than a week ago.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Nursing or Surgical Tech

The last week or so I've been thinking that maybe I should just go on for my RN, but it's going to take a couple years longer, be more expensive, BUT pay twice as much as Surgical Tech. I mentioned it to my mom and she told me of the nurse at her pain clinic. When she told him I was going to school for Surgical Tech he asked why not RN, it's just an extra semester. Yes, the program is an extra semester, however, It has a lot more prerequisites. None of my stuff will transfer because it's been longer than 5yrs. In the end it will be more fulfilling to do nursing, but to get there is going to be a lot harder. Any thoughts on this would be great. Surgical Tech or Registered Nurse????

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Daniel Fast

My church is in the middle of doing a Daniel Fast, for more info on what a Daniel fast is, check out this site: www.daniel-fast.com

I was raised Baptist, not Church of God(as I am now), so I learned very little about fasting growing. Well,actually I didn't learn anything. All I learned about fasting was sometimes before blood work or a medical procedure you had to fast after midnight, which meant you needed to wake up at 11:30pm for a snack, or so that's what my grandma did. LOL. I'm not 100% if I understand the spiritual benefits of a Daniel Fast. I came to learn that you fast, and drink only water and the time you would be cooking and eating, you spend in prayer and reading the Bible. Maybe I was wrong in this idea. The Daniel Fast is something you do for 21 days. On the above mentioned website, they have recipes and foods you can eat. So much for not cooking. As you may have gathered from reading thus far, I'm not participating in the Daniel Fast, just yet. However, I went to the store this evening and bought some fresh fruits and veggies, nuts, and hummus. While I really don't understand the spiritual aspect, I do understand the physical aspect, and I plan on eating Daniel Fast friendly foods more often. One day at a time, but maybe 3 days a week, or maybe even more. For added protein, I think I'll throw in eggs to the mix. Gone with the easy microwavable dinners...so easy when I'm just cooking for myself. Gone w/ the occasional soft drink and other snacks that I really shouldn't be indulging in, like my tortilla chips that I have become so fond of lately.

I was doing so well with losing weight before Christmas. I was eating very sensibly and was quite proud of myself, when the scales showed I lost 8lbs in less than a month. That was before Christmas. The after all the holiday foods, I gained 6lbs back. I haven't weighed since then, but I haven't been "good" since then either. I just haven't had the will power. However, I think I'm getting back on track. Like I said I went to the store, and despite how much ice cream or other junk appealed to me, I stuck with the healthy stuff. I got a couple avocado's, apples, grapefruits, bananas, tangerines, and celery stalks. I already had lettuce and mushrooms. I'm not too fond of apples, but Ellie likes to gum on a chunk, so I figured we could share an apple. I can even dip it in peanut butter, hey it's protein. I usually drown grapefruits with sugar, however, I have some of the Truvia, I figured I could put on it. I LOVE avocado's and I'm trying to get Ellie to be the same, however she's not the most thrilled with them. She doesn't care for anything green. Banana's are the best. Celery is pretty good, especially w/ peanut butter or a little ranch dip. Tangerines are good, just don't care for peeling them. I also got some nuts, with I'm not totally fond of, but I think I can make it work. I have tofu in the fridge and my eggs. I guess I'm going pretty vegetarian on myself. LOL. I've always liked the idea of being more vegetarian. As long as you aren't on an all carb diet, it seems pretty healthy. Hopefully I can jump on this new way of eating pretty good and lose some pounds. My next allowed splurge event will be my anniversary at the end of February, then the one after than is Ellie's birthday at the beginning of April.
I'm going to try and be accountable on here w/ progress. Not necessarily revealing my weight, but just to get how I'm doing out.
Oh and BTW, Ellie has her 9 month appointment on Thursday and I start my class on Friday. I'm so excited!!!

Friday, January 8, 2010

Kinda sorta TTC#2

IUD is out, AF has shown up today. I'm going to start out temping and charting. As for timing...can't do that for a while. With Simon not home so much, we'll just DTD when he's here. Eventually we will predict when I'll ovulate and try to get him home during that predicted time.

I'm not too optimistic though. After all Endo and PCOS are weighing against me AND now w/ Simon's new career. So for a while I'm not really even going to stress about it or anything. I mean, I have Ellie to keep me busy and love on, so I'm feeling good about having to wait some. Hence why I'm starting to chart now, rather than later. I would like Ellie and #2 to be a couple years apart, but if I got pregnant this month, I would be ok with them being 18 months apart.

I've went to TTCJSO on webmd. OMGosh!!! Those girls are nuts. Many of them are so depressed and emotional because they got a BFN their FIRST cycle trying and they even tested early. Then somebody asked how many DPO everybody was and what the symptoms people had. I know I was once them, but I could gag. The vast majority were all acting pregnant with their "symptoms." Not that all are the same, but for me all I had was I felt like I was going to start my period. Until m/s came between 5-6wks. But these girls are all already feeling m/s and everything else you can think of. Now, surely they aren't ALL pregnant just like that. But still what's the most upsetting is the way people are so distraught over ONE failed cycle. If I stay w/ these people long, I just may go off on some people. I think I will end up coming across as being some know it all bitch, but oh well. I just hate when women talk like their world is falling apart when they haven't been TTC but for a couple months when I know so many that have tried for many years and some have even given up. Grrrr. So, I may not be on that board for long. Fortunately life is about to get VERY busy for me and I wont have time to spare so I wont be able to go on much.