Monday, February 15, 2010

Family VENT please read and comment

This may get long. Please read, because I need comments.

A little history first. Growing up my aunt, I'll call her P... has always been jealous of my mom. My mom had child, my mom had been married, my mom had sex in her life. My mom was VERY close to her child. P... was openly jealous because my mom had way more than what she ever could have. She took her jealousy to an angry level. P... later became jealous because my mom gets to be a grandma and she will never be a grandma. She assumed when Ellie was born that she would be like a grandma to Ellie. Well, I never saw P... as a mom so idealy P... isn't going to be like a grandma.
Keep in mind P... has never been married. When I was 20yrs old she decided that she wanted to do a foster to adopt program to adopt a mentally challanged child. It was obvious to my mom and I that it wasn't all about having a big heart, but a lot about wanting to be a MOM herself. She bragged about how much of a mother's heart she had. So, she fostered a 16yr old boy and adopted him when he was 17. Suddenly she's got her title of mom, along with a crap load of money from social security disability and adoption assistance, and she never had to put him on her insurance because of state medicaid. She complained that she want to be around him. She always needed a break from him. She had him wash his own clothes then complained when he couldn't do it...but she would never supervise him. She yelled and screamed (I've witnessed it many times) at him for not properly grooming himself and washing himself properly. She brainwashed him early on that she never yells. She freaked out and yelled at him if he didn't make his sandwich or other little meal "right." But again she never supervised him. Remember he's mentally challenged. His IQ is around 47. She yelled at him if she sent him to look for something and he didn't find it. Then she would go look and half the time the item wasn't even there. She yelled if she told him to get a pan out (not specific about what she wanted), and her son had no idea what she wanted but knew that if he brought out the wrong thing that he would get yelled at, but his lack of speed at finding what she wanted led her to yelling. BTW, he's also got mental illnesses too. As you can see she was never a real "mother" to him, but rather an emotionally abusive mom wannabe. When he was in high school she pushed for him to get his high school diploma. The test to graduate was given to him by another student reading the test and leading him to the right answer. While in school he never had homework, he never did a research paper, or a project. Somehow he got a high school diploma. She boasted about him receiving his high school diploma. Other times she complained about how people don't know how mentally challanged he is. Right there, if he is smart enough to get a high school diploma then he SHOULD be smart enough to flip burgers at McDondalds, or work security at a factory or work in a factory, all of these jobs require high school diplomas.

So recently her son, we'll call him J... has been put in jail. Since he's been 21, he's 22 now, his adoption assistance has stopped. From that point on, she's been trying to get him into a group home. Thanks the economy it couldn't happen unless he was either homeless, in jail, or in a mental hospital. For a year and a half now she has been pushing his every button to try to get his mental illness get the best of him. She's been YELLING at him and making his life MISERABLE. He's been very unhappy living with her and has voiced his unhappiness for some time now. But she always manages to brainwash him to believing that it is his fault.

Ok, so back to J... being in jail. She would only let him eat 2 pack of instant oatmeal, but he wanted 3 packs. She got mad and yelled, he got mad and yelled back. She told him to take a walk, and I'm sure he probably told her to take a walk. Obviously this pissed P... off even more, since she is over 400lbs and it's impossible to walk from the recliner infront of the TV where she stays. This is where I'm not sure of the details, but J... finally hit P... and thus she called the cops and had him put in jail. Now she's the victim. Victim my ass, excuse my language. But from what I've witnessed he is just as much of the victim, and yet he's the one that's getting all the blame and she's got a crown for being such a wonderful mother and going through such a rough time. Well, this was pretty much her only way to get rid of him like she had voiced so many times she wanted to do.

The other day she called me. I wanted to stay out of it and just get 2nd hand info from my mom. But Simon encouraged me to answer because afterall she did need support. Regardless of how much she treated J... like shit, it still has to be hard on her. So I answered. This is where the real vent begins.

Apparently all this started when Ellie was born. Simon and I stopped spending time with J... Ellie got all the attention. First of all if you remember, 4 days after Ellie was born Simon broke his leg. He couldn't put weight on his leg for over 3 months. Then he went back through trucking school, then became an over the road truck driver. Despite all this, Simon did attempt to spend some time with J... As for me, I never had a desire to spend time with J... anyway. I didn't like him, and I had little to no use for him. He always wanted to complain about how his mom treated him and any response you gave he told his mom that you said what he said resulting in her calling and blessing you out. Not something I ever became fond of. So J...'s problems are the result of MY baby, MY husband, and MYSELF. That was the end of the conversation. I was FURIOUS and shaking and had to get off the phone before I exploded. Since I haven't answered her calls. I mean a killer sore throat hasn't helped much either, since I don't really want to talk much, which I did text her that I have had a sore throat for 4 days and I'm not able to talk much.

I guess her being mean, yelling, screaming, and nitpicking everything had NOTHING to do with J...'s reaction and situation. Nope, it all has to do with my family. All our fault. Because J...'s had a 2nd cousin born. Umm, I'm sorry I didn't think about how a baby would affect her son, guess I should never have gone on with my life in getting married and having a baby, right? What an insensitive person I was to have a baby. Obviously I'm being sarcastic, but basically that's what she says.

I am SO close to going off on her ass. Because I'm sorry, but her mistreating J... the way she has, has been so much more of her problem. Now thinking about it, she didn't find out about the only way to get him in a group home and out of her house until Ellie was born or right around that time. I'm about to go all pregnancy hormonal on her. Yep, I will blame the hormones, but it's getting to a point that I have to say something. She told my mom that I need to put on my grown up pants. I'm not sure what she's talking about there. But she needs to put on her way oversized grown up pants and start taking responsibility for her stupid, inconsiderate actions rather than dishing out the responsibility to everyone else. If the bitch continues with this shit, she's not going to know what hit when I go off on her, and I'm very close to going off on her. Again, I'm sorry for my language, but when I'm upset those words come out. Better on computer than out loud though, right. For now I am using all the restraint I can to not go off, but I'm about to reach my boiling point. And again it's not going to be pretty. I was once told if you want to see the worse in the woman, say something negative about her husband or child. And she's done just that, and I'm experiencing the worse feelings. I'm sure my hormones aren't helping a bit.

Thank you for reading this. I would appreiciate comments of any kind. Calm me down, or tell me I'm write and this woman really is a bitch, or give me advice as to what and how to tell her off. I don't care, but please don't take her side, because this is just part of the story, as it would be a book if I wrote everything.