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Thursday, June 25, 2009

Never knew my father

I have never known my father and when I try to find him on things such as Ancestory.com or facebook, I really feel like he's making sure I don't find him. All I know is his first and last name and his birthday. That gets me nowhere, but seeing a bunch of people that may or may not be him. Arg...so aggrivating. Obviously I'm not wanting anything from him. Just to see a pic of him, any children he has, which would be my half sibilings, have a couple questions answers, and maybe know his sister's and parent's name, then I'll be gone. I'm not looking for a father/daughter like relationship. I'm well into my 20's now, I'm too old to back track and have a DADDY. Sure that's hard to grasp. But it's the truth. I no longer cry myself asleep at night because I too wanted to have a Daddy. I don't want his time, attention, money, or gifts, or even apologies. Just a couple answers, a few pictures, and I'll be on my way. That's it. Why does finding a person have to be so damn hard. I want to scream sometimes. Then I find somebody that COULD be him, just to be disappointed most of the time. Well not so much disappointed, well ok, maybe that is the right word. Imagine you are on an Easter Egg hunt. You are the only one on this hunt. There are hundreds of plastic eggs, most empty. Some have a fake, but real looking $100 bill in it, and only 1 has a real $100 bill in it. You open many to find them empty, some to find it really could be, but at a closer to look it's not, but you never seem to find the lucky one. Either you never find it, or because there are so many eggs you skip over a lot too, without much of a glance. That's how it is for me. It's so frustrating!!

7 comments:

elephantscanremember said...

I am sorry. (Hugs)

Christina said...

I'm so sorry.

Morgan said...

I know that must be frustrating for you Sherry. Maybe it's just meant to be you don't find him, or it just isn't the right time yet. Either way, I hope you find out who your father is and get some answers!

HUGS!

Misty Dawn said...

Have you thought about hiring a PI to help you find him? I"m sorry Sherry, I never knew this about you.

Coco said...

I have a lot of the same feelings about my father. I don't want a relationship or apologies or anything like that. I don't really know what I want at all. There is just an underlying curiousity there that I think is totally normal. Good luck!

Julie said...

I hope you end up finding him. Like Misty suggested maybe you should hire a PI.

Ancestry.com and sites like it won't be helpful since they only list people who are dead (there are laws protecting the info of the living).

ssbean said...

I may end up hiring a PI. For now, thought I'm still hanging in the field of plastic eggs. According to my mom there is a possible one on facebook. Just going by the picture of him. I'm gonnna show my uncle the picture because they were friends. If he thinks it could be that I've a got a couple questions I can ask him that wouldn't make him think I am who I am. So we'll see...