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Sunday, January 4, 2009

I want to cry

3 nights in row, with very little sleep. No baby to rock to sleep, no baby to nurse or change. There's no pain that is preventing me from sleeping, and no heartburn, and I'm not having to go to the bathroom a million times at night yet. So why can't I sleep...I have no idea. The only thing I can even come close to thinking of is stress, anxiety, and excitement. But, I don't know. I'm just not sleeping at night, and I'm not sleeping during the day. I've always been the person who had NO problem sleeping, anywhere, at any time. I was a sleeper. So I'm not used to the inability to sleep. I've become OCD in preparing for bed. I lay down and close my eyes, but I'm wide awake, tired and weak, but awake. I try everything I know to try, until finally I take 2 benadryl just to get 4-5hrs of disturbed sleep. Why is it disturbed? I don't know, it's not a urge to pee, or laying in a painful position, but instead it's I just roll over, open my eyes, and what do you know I'm awake. Now, it generally doesn't take too long to fall back asleep, but I'll go pee, and drink some water, top off my water cup, and then go back to sleep. The lack of night sleep, hasn't meant an increase in day time napping. Quite the opposite actually. My daytime napping has actually massively decreased the last few days. Until yesterday, last night, and today, I have felt pretty darn good, so I've been doing a little more daily activity. Last night it really hit, when I carried a glass of water and it felt like I was carrying 50lbs around the house. My muscles in every part of my body are beyond weak. They hurt and ache, and if I use them at all, it makes it that much worse. For example, typing is hurting my arms and hands. Writing in my baby journal, hurt my hands last night. So, now the lack of sleep is starting to affect me. Before now, I've grinned and beared it, no complaints really. But, now my body and mind are starting to feel the lack of sleep. My husband works 3rd shift so generally isn't home, but he was off last night. He was shocked to actually witness my lack of sleep. He tried everything he could think of to help me get to sleep, nothing worked. 1.5hrs after taking 2 benadryl I finally drifted off to a very temporary sleep, as I then woke up many times in the course of 5hrs. I guess I'm looking for an excuse for not sleeping, even if it's pain and discomfort from being pregnant. Maybe I'll go lay down and just see if I can fall back to sleep. Who know miracles can happen, right.

2 comments:

~*JaYmE*~ said...

Awe I'm sorry. Thats no fun at all!

The Captain's Wife said...

Ahh the joins of pregnancy....It'll get better soon...then it'll get worse again. Try Tylenol PM. If that doesn't work try to talk to your Dr. about Ambien. The low doses are perfectly safe during pregnancy. (5 and 10 mg)