Thursday, September 4, 2008

Update...I'm terrible at blogging

The key to blogging is to actually blog. LOL, I'm horrible at this stuff. No wonder I don't have many readers.

Well, I'm got some updates, and some food for thought.

We found out that Simon IS a carrier for Cystic Fibrosis as well. That leaves us with a 25% chance of having a child with cystic fibrosis aka 65 roses. My doctor said we can do the amnio to find out if the child has CF, if we plan on terminating the pregnancy if the child does have CF, then he said we need to do it ASAP. OMG, this upset me, that he would even be saying that. Of course I'm not going to terminate it. So at this point, we have concluded that we will NOT do the amnio to find out if Beanie Bear has CF. It's too much of a risky procedure, for what...just to know sooner. Some may say that's a good thing and needs to be known sooner so we can prepare ourselves. I agree to an extent. Thing is, Simon and I haven't always dreamed of having 1 kid, but we were hoping on 3ish maybe...if we can, if God allows. So, I'm figuring, I need to learn about CF, if not for Beanie Bear, but for one of the possible little brothers and/or sisters. Also, when looking for a pediatrician I will discuss the CF possibiity and make sure I find one that is good with that sort of thing. We plan on preparing ourself for the worse, but of course hoping for the best.
One may wonder how I'm doing with the possibility, especially since I'm a total worry wart. Well, in the first 24hrs I went through many thoughts and feelings. From anger and guilt, that if the child has CF, then it's my fault for giving the child the CF gene. To wondering if keeping the child and not termination, is selfish of me, saying I want my child so bad, that I will bring a "sick" kid into the world to suffer. Of course, I got off that feeling rather quickly. Now I'm at acceptance, if it does happen, I know that we will be wonderful parents to sick child. I have worked with a variety of disabilities, I can advocate, I can stay up at the hospital when need be, I can administer medications, and above all, I can love. I believe that Simon would follow suit. So, even if this baby has CF, we'll be fine.

Other than that this pregnancy is going great. I am very sick at times, not always first thing in the morning. I am throwing up from time to time. Today at work, I threw up and my face felt like pins and needles were sticking in it. My coworkers quickly noticed I looked like...well, you know, and made me sit in a recliner. They were very concerned for me. After several minutes of resting, I felt better, and could get back to my job full force, and I felt somewhat better with my stomach. I felt way better after eating lunch though. They told me that I will probably end up on bed rest. I know that it's always a possibility, but in my opinion, I can't jump at everything and freak out. Use caution and be wise, but relax as much as possible. I mean if that kind of thing reoccures then I'll talk to the doctor about it. Also I spotted again this morning. It was after having my first BM in like 2 days. I figured I would keep a close eye on things, if I continued to spot and spotted without having a BM, I would call the doctor. No more spotting as of now though. My nature is to be STUBBORN. I'm trying to tell myself, I can be stubborn all I want, but this baby can't handle me being stubborn, it's not fair to Beanie Bear, it's not me I'm being stubborn with, but the baby. So, I would like to say I'm being a trooper and just simply NOT freaking out at every little problem. Not that I'm being stubborn. I feel like I'll know if there's something wrong and I need to call the doctor. Right now, I think I can hold on to my normal life a while longer.


The Captain's Wife said...

Sherry I chose to forego all of the 1st and 2nd tri blood work. Primarily because if my child (or myself) had any type of elevated risk for anything I really did not want to spend the remaining few month worried..only to find out that everything was fine.

It really is a choice that every person needs to make for themselves. I, like you, had no plans for termination, so I figured why even try to find out.

I will be keeping positive thoughts for you, keeping my fingers crossed that when your little one arrives he/she is in perfect health!

Morgan said...

I'm sorry you got sych bad news but this doesnt mean he will FOR SURE have it. Keep positive thoughts in your head, and I'll do the same for you!!